Beautiful Life

Everything You Need To Know About Kinesiology

2010-10-13T03:05:00.000-07:00

The word 'Kinesis' in Greek means movement and Kinesiology studies the relationship between the quality of muscular movement and overall health. Kinesiology deals with methods of maintaining good health through proper functioning and movement of all the muscles in the body.

This system operates under the belief that each part of the body is connected to a corresponding muscle. If a muscle is not working properly, associated parts will be affected and this manifests as a disease.

Kinesiology is related to acupuncture and draws on the principles of ancient Chinese medicine. Both sciences deal with the specific paths in the body called meridians. As in acupuncture, Kinesiology believes that physical disorders are a direct result of blocks in the path of the energy flow in our body.

A trained Kinesiologist employs muscle testing to identify problem areas. The doctor applies pressure on a clenched muscle and asks the patient to resist the pressure. Thus he assesses muscle movement and response. The practitioner looks for any physical disorder, lack of nutrition or lack of energy that may be at the root of the problem.

Once the problem area is identified, gentle techniques are used to re-establish harmony and to rejuvenate the flow of energy. A light massage on the relevant pressure points usually restores the flow of blood to the muscles and stimulates the secretion of lymph. Lymph is responsible for detoxifying the muscles. So when the muscles receive a good supply of lymph and blood, they function well.

Other common forms of treatment include the use of magnets, flower essence, homeopathy and even thought control. Most patients find their Kinesiology sessions immensely enjoyable and relaxing. They leave therapy with a feeling of wonder that such a joyous experience could really cure them of their illness.

An experienced Kinesiologist would be able to assess the ENTIRE health chart of a client in just a single sitting. The therapist may identify allergies, deal with phobias or stress, rectify nutritional imbalances and may even start the process of detoxifying the entire systemof the patient.

Like any other holistic medical practice, you really do not need to have any external symptom to benefit from Kinesiology. Even in the absence of illness, Kinesiology helps improve health, increases the feeling of well-being, boosts intellectual functioning and unleashes positive attitudes. In short, it can help individuals reach the highest point of their potential. One can achieve success in just about any field by riding on a high wave of confidence and ability.

Kinesiology works because it is non-invasive, gentle and free of side effects. Kinesiology is an effective preventative therapy. Some of the areas where Kinesiology works wonders are:

- Prevents illnesses
- Increases energy levels
- Relieves physical pain by improving posture
- Heals traumas
- Identify allergies
- Enhances brain functioning and coordination

Spiritual Kinesiology is a relatively new but powerful branch of Kinesiology that helps people transcend their unresolved emotions and limiting beliefs. If used properly Spiritual Kinesiology uses the healing power of the soul to reverse an unbalanced energy pattern and sets it right in just a few MINUTES!

Kinesiology offers a complete health care package by taking care of physical, emotional and mental development. The ease and effectiveness of this technique is sometimes mystifying, even miraculous.

Difference Between Love & Like

2010-08-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

Before the person you love, winter turned into a beautiful spring Opening the person you like, winter is still winter atmosphere just a little nicer Opening the person you love, your heart suddenly beating faster Opening the person you like, you just feel happy and excited just to the eyes when you see the person you love, your eyes welled glass And when you see the eyes of the person you like, you just smile Opening the person you love, the word comes from the word that comes out of the deepest feelings Opening the people what you liked, only words out of my mind If the person you love to cry, you shall go weeping by his side If the person you like to cry, you just love that feeling of comfort just starts from the eye, while liking starts from the ear So if you want to stop liking someone, just by closing the ears But if you try to close your eyes from the person you love, love turned into tears and continued to live in yours in the distance long enough.

"But other than a sense of joy and love ... there is a deeper feeling. .... That is a sense of compassion that does not disappear as quickly as love. Pain is not easily changed. The feeling that makes sacrifices for your loved ones. Mau suffer for the sake of your loved ones happiness. Love is like to have. But darling just wanted to see loved ones happy ... even if it means losing. "

Your Special

2010-08-14T23:48:00.000-07:00

One day a famous speaker opened the seminar with a unique way. Holding USD banknotes. 100 000, -, he asked the audience, "Who wants this money?" Looks a lot of hands raised. Sign a lot of interest. "I'll give this to one of you, but first let me do this."

He stood close to the audience. That money knead with hands until many times over. Then ask, "Who still wants this money? \" Number of the outstretched hands of undiminished. "Okay," she replied, "what would happen if I do this?" she said as she dropped the money into the floor and trampling with shoes. Although still intact, now the money was so very dirty and no longer smooth.

"Well, if now there are still interested?" Hands still held a lot. "Ladies and gentlemen, you just deal with an important lesson. Whatever happens with this money, you are still interested because of what I did not reduce its value. Although disheveled and dirty, the money was still worth more than Rp. 100 000, -." In this life we have several times fallen, torn, and covered in dirt caused by the decisions we make and the situations that hit us. In such circumstances, we feel unworthy, meaningless. In fact anything that has and will happen, you never will lose value in the eyes of those who love you, especially in the eyes of God. Never forget - you are special.

Revisioning

2010-08-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

Why Important?

Three years of work, Mas Kamal realized that he was not apparently been working in physical and spiritual. His body was working in that office but he thought not in it. Finally, the knowledge, expertise, experience and relationships, all of which is an important asset in a career, only a few are obtained.

After doing Revisioning, there arose the perspective that the job was not sought from an ideal that does not exist by rejecting what is out there, but from love / appreciate what is out there to get what is still outstanding. The ideal material was obtained from celebrating the reality, rather than deny reality (denial).

Similar story ever dialmi Mbak Ida. For years he felt a barrage of failure to appear is sometimes frustrating. After doing Revisioning, terkuaklah an indication that so far she is too eager to get that big and that many at once (one-off action).

If we desire to burden himself with a number of high (according to our current size) and had to be reached directly at once, then our focus becomes clear. When the focus is not clear, our actions are also unclear. When action is not clear, we take penahapan also unclear.

Bang nearly as well with Odi. After seeing the development of such a progressive fellow contemporaries elsewhere, she realized that she had been too satisfied with the existing ones. As if his position was the most perfect sehingg not need no improvement. With Revisioning, he realized, even the best, it must be improved.

Examples of the above case illustrates that Revisioning will make us know if during this step we are already in line with the vision or even contradictory. Although we have a vision to Solo, but if we step into the path of Bekasi, for sure we will get to Bekasi. This world will realize our deeds, not our wants.

Revisioning will make us know if we step over the management of this is just right or not. Failures that often occur during this is not necessarily caused by our inability. One chose the strategy and focus, or less precise in formulating penahapan in planning, can also be the cause.

In addition, Revisioning also will make us reconnect to our vision. This will bring up the source of a new spirit, new perspectives and new understanding. Our response to the everyday reality often leave a variety of graffiti in mind, just like scribbles on paper. Without Revisioning, scribbles that would block our view of the actual vision. That is why it is important Revisioning.

"If you look into yourself, your vision will be clearer.

Who's looking out the will to dream.

And who looked into would rise. "

(Carl Jung)

Between Vision and Fantasy

Revisioning mean revising what is the vision of our careers or businesses over the years. What we understand about the vision for this? In language, as we know, the vision was yes shadow (mental / spiritual). In various theories of self-development, the vision is understood not merely as a shadow image.

Vision is the shadow that was real (obviously) in our mind about what we want to achieve in the future (possible better future), but not real in the real world. Because it is not real, then our job is to make it happen through action or mission. This vision is often associated with what is usually called the "Law of Creation", The Law of Creation.

According to law, all human creations are created through two processes, namely creation of mental and physical creation. Before making proposals, letters, or live action, we must first imagine the mental nature. Even before we wear certain clothes to go to work, we had previously imagined.

So also with the steps in our careers. As far as mental creations that we create it clear in the sense of specific, concrete, attainable, and the process has achieved "read" accurately by the mind, the physical creation we may also be unclear. If that happens on the contrary, it is possible steps we are confused.

This is also what we need to make it an important reason why Revisioning. Do-not what we understand as long as this vision (which is a real inner shadow) it was really only a fantasy. Fantasy rarely inspire us to action. Fantasy fact often makes man lazy berakasi. Fantasy is a mental creation that has not been clear. Fantasies are often as unhealthy reaction to reality.

When viewed in the dictionary, a fantasy that has two versions, namely version of the ancient and the modern versions. According to Webster's dictionary Marriam, the ancient version of the fantasy is hallucination. Hallucinations are often a result of the abuse / distortion (disorder) or neglect (denial). People who abuse drugs often experience hallucinations. People who ignore the development of the capacity of intellect often experience hallucinations.

Prof. Dadang Hawari (2003) defines a hallucination as an experience of sensory stimuli without menimbulkannya source. People who claimed to have heard something, but can not find the source of the sound called menimbulkannya suffer hallucinations. The person who creates a fantasy all-wah about him, even though there is no evidence to support sufferers also called "hallucinations".

"It is sad if we can only fantasize

without being able to formulate a vision "

(Helen Keller)

Stuck In Pragmatism & Utopisme

If it rests on God's guidance, we should, it is necessary to have an ideal standard in our career or business. But it should be noted that our attitudes toward the ideal that we should not just force it to happen. The ideal is that, if we can not make it happen, should we make a reference or referral that inspire our actions.

This is the same as God's creation of the heavens. Although the sky we can not reach the sky but from God's good fortune that can enrich the lowering of the earth, such as sunlight and rain water. Same also with the vision. Despite the existence of an ideal world, in a sense possible to reach or impossible to reach (according to our view today), but vision is what gives his fortune in the inspiration and motivation for action.

But of course the vision alone is not enough, just as God did not merely create the sky. He created this earth to live. The sky illuminates the earth so that we can step on the earth. Can we make this an indication that in addition to having an ideal standard (vision), we also need to create the target action in response to actual and factual reality that exists on earth based on our vision of light from the sky.

So, if dikongkritkan, regardless of any career situation and our efforts today, it would be better to have a vision that we remain always be clear with Revisioning and action. It's that vision that illuminates the steps we are or we can step on the instructions of that vision. What is the benefit? The benefit is to always appear the urge to change into a better direction from time to time continuously.

According to the practice of life, the emergence of impetus for change that is the manifestation of our harmony with reality. Harmony with reality rather than mere means peace or calm the "" forced ". Peace with reality is dynamic in improving the reality of today (realizing the vision).

People who live in peace with occupation or profession rather than those who happened to get his version of an ideal job or the people who accept what is the job, but someone who mendinamiskan thought. Even as we are already in place the ideal, but if our mind stagnate, we must be visited by boredom. Conversely, although we currently resides at a location less versatile, but if our inner dynamic, for sure we will arrive at the ideal place.

Though God created the heavens and the earth with the instructions, but we often forget. We do not view the heavens and the earth as a pair. We are less conscious in placing idealita world and reality as a couple. We often do is contrasted (as opposed to position) between the actual ideal; between desire and reality, between the reference and ground.

Because it encouraged the spirit of contrasts, the negative reaction that often arises is seeking pelampiasannya. The general case, we rebound it if not to the pragmatic yes to the utopian. Pragmatic is a picture of the man who sank into a reality, do not believe in the shadow of the ideal, the pursuit of short-term interests only. While the utopian is the opposite, running away from reality by creating a fantasy.

"If you only have a vision without action, you're imagining.

If you just act without a vision, you lost. "

(Japanese proverb)

Step Resolution

Revisioning the core of our step is the resolution so that more and more clear, more assertive, and more powerful. If this has not materialized revision means that we do not necessarily vision. Maybe it was a fantasy. The motivator is often suggested that in Revisioning it is necessary to have a process commonly called "creative visualization".

This actually is a set of mental actions (mental creation) which aims so that we can see more clearly the vision and planning. If we already know where we are and where we are going, maybe we need to explore various ways and means to achieve it. Mental actions recommended, among others:

1. Increase the intensity in communicating with yourself. Come up with creative questions to test whether our vision for this is right or not. Right in the sense of appropriate competence, according to the value, according to the excess, as expected, and according to circumstances.
2. Formulate SMART Goal (clear purpose). The objective here is a statement about what he meant is certain we can accomplish as part of the realization of vision. There's a big goal (objective) and there is a small goal (target).
3. Focus on the use of existing resources (material and people). Avoid the mind to rely on resources that have not may be held now or rely on external factors.
4. Come up with new energy and spirit. This can be done by creating a new variety of reasons and motives, whether from external or internal. For example we need to improve career move because it needs, competition, or because the demands of development, and so on. Always the better is the internal motive
5. Awareness program to select the decision to go forward, not to silence or to retreat.

"Apparently, effort and courage are not enough.

It requires purpose and direction. "

(John F. Kennedy)

Many Moment

There are many moments that have been provided for us to do Revisioning. Lebaran we just miss, Christmas will soon come, new year soon to welcome, all that we can make it as a moment to menginisiatifkan change for the better. Hopefully useful.

Guilt and Shame

2010-08-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Are there memories suddenly faced repeated when the school first? When you're really not ready but it happened to my friend and affordable thin-brained side by "a glance of your eyes", well ... deh congratulations! The incident may have been experienced by hundreds of students in this hemisphere, including Indonesia and perhaps all of us who are reading this paper. What happens after that, whether in secret shame entrenched in the recesses of the heart, or guilt? Or, relax aja, kok not very often.

In a criminal news, a mother reported her own child's head hitting the heart itself which was two years old and slam it to death. Initially he refused to acknowledge his actions, but ultimately he could not dodge and acknowledge all the actions, the reason he was upset to see the kids spilling food on a plate and whether such loss of sense to do that. On the television, the mother did not cry or speak faltered when interviewed, his expression as if he were telling something very normal, although he admitted regretfully. Act is clearly already known to many parties especially immediate environment, if only the expression / appearance or did he not feel guilty, embarrassed by the pretext of "like trance." What is clear, at least any mothers could not afford to tell you flatly or even fainted to see her child die, what happens with the mother's emotions?

Emotion Theory

In general, emotions are viewed as social adjustment, associated with individuals, and therefore have expressive traits (Plutchik, 1980). Tomkins (1987) identifies nine basic affective or congenital, that is of interest or excitement, or joy Enjoyment, surprise or startle as a positive affection. While the negative form of affection, distress or anguish, fear or terror, shame or humiliation, contempt or disgust, and anger or Rage. In view of Tomkins, guilt (guilt) is included in shame (shame). Shame, though, including congenital, but not a primary emotion, but an emotion that arises after the affection of interest or joy appears, this feeling occurs because of the incomplete fulfillment of the affection his predecessor.

Meanwhile, in the concept of Izard (1977), emotions occupy a larger space in the context of personality (personality). Emotion is seen as one of six (6) subsystem that is homeostatic, drive, emotion, perceptual, cognitive and motor, which interact to form one's personality. During its development, Izard stated that emotions occur as part of the maturing process, and the appearance of each person depending on individual learning experiences in the process of socialization.

On the other emotion theory, it emphasizes the social aspect of guilt, like Rivera (1984) which states that emotions evolved as a result of adaptation functions in human relations. In his view, all the emotions associated with the adjustment of this relationship, between self and others, where every emotion is useful to maximize the value of those relationships.

Guilt and Shame

Guilt is understood as an awareness of cognitive and negative feelings related to a moral standard. According to Ausubel (1955), guilt is one of the most important mechanism for individuals to socialize in culture. While Buss (1980) explains the difference between guilt and shame lies in terms of self-awareness (self-consciousness) and his own public (private or private). According to him, guilt is personal, the real test of guilt, no one can know for sure. On the other hand, guilt is a self-conscious public. Buss defines shyness as a social emotion continued from shyness, and anxiety embarressment audience.

Concept Mosher (1961,1966,1968) which, based on social learning theory (social learning theory), defines guilt as a general expectation in the media self-punishment for violation (or anticipatory breach) is internalized from the moral standards of behavior.

Empirical Research

Guilt has been tested as a complex construction associated with the affective, cognitive, personality, genetic, cultural, and dynamic aspects. There is evidence to indicate that guilt is a universal experience and innate, although specific standards that triggered it will vary not only between cultures but also between individuals.

Guilt is more closely related to the distress which was followed by fear and little to do with feeling happy (joy) and surprise (surprise) (Izard, 1977). A special test of the prediction Buss showed that guilt should be more strongly linked with personal self-awareness rather than to the public, this is apparently not getting a strong evidence (Jones & Kugler, 1993)

Interpersonal Relations

As has been stated in the beginning, it is assumed that guilt develops in the context of interpersonal and is important in interpersonal relationships. In one study involving inpatient and outpatient psychiatry (Carver, 1990), characters on opposite was found guilty in connection with self-reported interpersonal and relational variables such as intimacy, trust, perspective, satisfaction with the family, and on the size and suportivitas social network, also directly related to loneliness (Loneliness), treason partner relationships, the dimensions of personality disorder is also associated with relational problems (eg, schizoid, or personality passive-Aggression). In research that uses GI (Guilt Inventory; instrument of self-report), in general the results obtained indicate that the guilt associated with interpersonal problems.

Guilt & Shame as a key societal

A number of conclusions can be drawn from the shelf above, such that guilt can be ascertained in relation to social status of one's relationship. Second, guilt is defined as a contribution to the moral standards which seem useful to prevent immoral expressions, as stated by Mosher (1979) and others.

Further, the guilt associated with moral violations are widespread, but probably only when those behaviors endanger the status of an individual's relationship, for example, when a husband or wife demanded a divorce following the arrest and punishment follow-mate on a serious crime.

In the conclusion of Jones et al, moral standards and moral behavior is a common bond. More than that, seems to experience guilt when the personal relationship is threatened or disrupted, either questionable or not, the behavior is against the law or not approved / preferred the wider community.

Clearly, guilt or shame into one of the keys in a society. Chaos and rampant criminality and other immoral acts whether obvious or subtle, should raise questions in the hearts of each human being, where guilt and shame of this nation. Suppose every individual who still have them then this nation will be more mature and responsible, to see the community leaders who continued to commit corruption not as a justification for acts of anarchy in the public or other individuals. In the end back on ourselves, start to listen more conscience, empathy and sensitivity training on emotional social issues around us, especially for those who are lucky taste education and a comfortable position. Blasphemy and anger is an expression that might be a relief but it is certainly not a solution, wherever we are, start to wake up this nation from where we stand.

***

Source

Jones-Warren et al, "You always hurt the one you love: guilt and transgressions against relationship partners,"; in Tangney, June P. & Fischer, Kurt W. (Ed), "Self-Conscious Emotions: The psychology of shame, guilt, embarrasement and pride,"; New York: The Guilford Press, 1995.

Family Role In Formation of Self-Esteem

2010-08-13T23:36:00.000-07:00

One of the factors that influence the development of self-esteem is to do with other people, especially the significant Others, such as parents, siblings and close friends. Among the existing social structures, family is the most important thing, because the family is the closest environment, both physical and social support. The family is the first environment encountered by individuals and become an important place in the development of a human life.

The family became an important social structure because of interaction among family members is going on here. Behavior of someone in the family can affect the behavior of other family members. Someone in the family can feel herself loved, wanted, accepted and valued, which in turn helped him to better appreciate her own. An unhappy family situation is less personal which can generate positive self-esteem. Happiness of a family is affected by the existence of relationships between members of a harmonious family, good relationships between parents and children as well as relationships between children and siblings.

Problems that often occur in adolescents in relation to the needs of the family are teenagers who are not understood by other family members, namely the importance of the presence of friends. In this period the child with family dependency began to decrease, and a teenager would be more likely to spend time with her friends. In adolescence, peers (peer) became an important figure and an example is of a social emphasis for teens, more than parents.

Causes of Discontent On Other People

2010-08-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

X a student who liked to be picky teman.Ia easy to see the lack of friends and people who do not label as well. And then he avoided friends with that person. After a long time he did not have any friends because everyone has a flaw in the eyes of X. Finally X lonely.

Human beings are often said to be a never satisfied with something that has or on others. Humans often do not convict people better if you find the things he disliked. Are you also include someone who has character like this?

Meaning behind A Tale
Before we discuss this, first I would ask you do you ever watch or read the fairy tale Beauty & the Beast berjudu or movie called Shrek? If you've never seen it, about what lessons can you capture the fairy tale Beauty & the Beast or a movie called Shrek? You would know if a fairy tale Beauty & the Beast tells the story of the beautiful who are willing to accept the ugly as it is, finally the turn into the ugly-looking. What exactly is the meaning of the fairy tale Beauty & the beast? Some people see that the ugly can be turned into a handsome prince. When analyzed more deeply, one message from the fairy tale beauty & the beast, and the like that the human perception of the weakness of others can change if you find the positive side / kindness. And the film which tells the story of Shrek Shrek the Giant romance with the beautiful princess would like to extend that true love will accept others as they are.

If we reflect ourselves, have we become people who are willing to accept others as they really are and more to see the advantages possessed by another person? It can not be denied if at this time most people prefer to insult and denounce someone because of flaws and blemishes or mistakes ever made. Insult and reproach as though it was a culture. Most people still like to find someone else rather than see the lack of advantages.

Sources of dissatisfaction in Others
There is dissatisfaction is a positive, because we are trying to make the better or not do actions that cause problems and dissatisfaction. But there is dissatisfaction with the negative, which is destructive because it is based on hatred, envy, jealousy and the desire to destroy / defeat the other party. For example, we do not like the neighbors bought a large flat screen TV, we also want to have a bigger again until the debt is strangling the neck.

Human dissatisfaction is not just limited to property or goods owned, but also in interpersonal relationships. Now according to Gunadi (2004) the factors that can be a source of human discontent in others, among other physical factors. Shape and posture and presence of disability into one factor for the source of dissatisfaction in interpersonal relationships. There are people who prefer to mix with people that the ideal posture, his face handsome / beautiful, looks cool. It has become common knowledge. Otherwise, people will not be competing to improve their looks. Second, temperament. There are people who are not satisfied when communicating with people who are taciturn, morose, pessimistic people, resigned to the fact, otherwise there who do not feel like interacting with the cheerful and active. Some other factors that influence the culture, religion, education, and age.

Psychologically, we express dissatisfaction at the other people are basically self-sourced. Why? One of the factors causing the self-righteousness (see others bad, and yourself better), this is a pattern of abusive foster parents who tend to be either verbal, emotional or physical. Thus parents more often criticizing, insulting, disparaging the child rather than giving credit for the excess or the ability of the child. And even though the child had tried to optimal as possible, praise and recognition from parents not being given. Such a child is growing up with the belief that he was not good enough person and fear of rejection is often overshadowed by the environment. Many people like this in our society. They are racing to get recognition, to reach the high standards that are not clear and vice versa, putting the demands that are not rational, either to ourselves or to others.

In such situations, people more sensitive to rejection and ketidakterlibatan perceive himself as a confirmation that he was not good enough, while there are other people better than him. Such a person will easily feel threatened by the presence of others so that interpersonal relations can not be interwoven with an open, warm and colored sincerity. Each person is in an unhealthy climate of competition, mutual suspicion and tried searching for the lack of others to secure herself a position.

Solutions
How do we achieve satisfaction in interpersonal relationships with others? Actually, there are some things we can do to make interpersonal relationship between us and others are more qualified and have a meaning, namely:

* Recognizing that every human being endowed with the uniqueness of different, depending on the vocation of each
* Respect for the inherent uniqueness of others and appreciate the uniqueness, talent and potential that God bestowed on us.
* Be empathetic to other people and see problems and challenges of life to be lived.
* Seeing the advantages others in the broad context, linked with the history of life in the past and the journey The journey of life that will in the future, and assigned responsibilities. By looking at large, we avoid the attitude of envy and jealousy to see the advantages of others.
* Not just from looking at other people's physical appearance, but on the quality of his (heart, honesty, ability, expertise, quality work, achievement, wisdom, etc.)
* Give a sincere love for others, not pretending to receive a reply.
* Avoid want to master and control the behavior of others.
* Apply an attitude of mutual respect and tolerance in everyday life.
* Frequently introspection so that we do not have to look for deficiencies of others.
* Try to love others as you love yourself. People who hate themselves, it would be difficult to love his neighbor.

Hopefully this discussion, can be a drop of water can help treat dissatisfaction in others.

Interrogate Routines

2010-08-13T23:19:00.000-07:00

Routines & Perseverance

Many people who are less like a routine. Origin rutinistas've heard the term, like-I think that comment will be ejected was sounding less tasty. The routine is identical with boredom, stagnation, anti-creativity, and others. In fact, judging by his physical, there is no difference between those who underwent a routine and people who pursue something.

Routine is, we do something together in the same way and continue to persist in the same time. How to pursue something? At first sight was the same. Pursue that means we do something repeatedly and in a period of time. Hence, the birth, there are people who go to work just to live rutunitas, but there is also possible to pursue a particular expertise.

If you are not physically different, then where lies the difference? There lies the difference in one's inner dynamics. Inner dynamics of what kind of difference? Inner dynamics that often becomes differentiator among others:

First, awareness of the deep. People who pursue something driven by the awareness that comes from within themselves (intrinsic initiative and motive). They realize that it is something to be done, that what he was doing was important to him. Whereas people who were undergoing routine generally encouraged by the "consciousness from outside," or initiative from external factors. Many external factors that shape, for example: coercion of people, the demands of the situation / work, obligations organizations, and others.

By feeling, something we do on the basis of the awareness of the it will make our inner being "flow" or flow, run as processes. Meanwhile, something we do on the basis of coercion from the outside that usually causes our inner being "force", have felt a pressing or often we understand as a stressor. Therefore, by calculation, people who pursue something that far away from the stressor than those who underwent routine.

Second, a dynamic target. People who pursue something that has a dynamic target. It means dynamic target is the target that is constantly upgraded or repaired (some more, learn more, and do more). People who pursue something had the urge to ascend to a higher competency level of consciousness itself. This is different from those who only underwent a routine. The target should he pursue a target that is created from outside himself.

As motivation, the person to his job had a higher motivation than those who only underwent a routine. Therefore, if you look at the concept of competence development, will we find the explanation that the stronger the motivation someone disumberkan on inisitaif, consciousness, or the intrinsic motive, means that the higher motivation. Conversely, the stronger a person's motivation is based on external pressure, the lower means.

High-low motivation associated with many things. If the working world context, motivation is related to how far a person to be creative, push as hard as anyone to find the information needed to handle the work, amounting to what one's attention to the work (the concern for oder), and others. These all affect work performance.

Third, solutions to problems that arise. People who pursue work that defines itself as a source solutions first and foremost for all the problems that arise (problem solver). She did need someone else as an aid, but does not rely on others. The key word here is the need and rely on. Mentally, we need a means of conscious as the main charge. We lift ourselves as "the cause". This is different to rely.

Rely on other people that we picked up as "gods" that determines our lives. Both science and religion and the practice of life, relying on other people, including a destructive mentality. When people have started to rely on, then the activation key that moment in her capacity in direct "off". Even if we are really capable of, but if you've got the mentality to rely, practice, certainly we will not be able to.

There's a little lesson from the life story of Mark Victor Hansen. That right glow author of The Chicken Soup for the Soul which has been translated into various languages in the world, including Indonesia. How the story of Mark in connection with our discussion of this? Before finally deciding to write the book, Mark has a unique life history. Starting a business in the construction field owned by his family at the age of 20 years. When he was 26 years, the business went bankrupt to make a living Mark total mess.

After a long life which he said is not clear, the encounter with an old friend there, his name is Jack Canfield, who now often become co-writer with her. From Jack is Mark had a chance to listen to the tape of the speech celebrated figures, his name is Robert Cavertt. What is interesting from the speech? The speech, entitled "Are you the cause or are you the effect" (whether you as a cause or as a result?) Really made him realize that all this time he was not the cause, but the effect (the effect). I was so fascinated with the contents of the speech, Mark play as much as 287 times.

In a 1994 interview cited by the magazine Entreprenur, Mark open talk that one dominant reason why 90% of mankind fails to realize the idea is because they realize as a result (the effect), not as the cause for himself. Washington Irvin said, 90% the cause of our failure was the proclamation itself (self-excusing) the same understanding by becoming a "consequence".

Since Mark realized that in this world there are still many people who do not feel themselves as the cause, then with Jack Canfield, Mark wrote the book that glow. Even this does not directly make Mark changed his fate. It is said that before the books are hailed as leading the list, best seller, the rejection of 33 publishers had experienced. Even in the expo's books, more than 134 visitors say NO!. Until there is a small publisher willing to print his book and from where he started

I think there are many examples around us that can take the lessons. Indeed we must be fair that we would think as a "cause" or as "a result", our fate will not immediately change. No change in the fate that was created from the mind. Only, to change the fate of the contents and models of thinking needed changing. Changes in thinking will change the attitude, the attitude will change the conduct or behavior, attitudes would change the outcome.

Mental Barriers

When it comes to nature, means that all the work that we can treat as a mere routine or can we make as a farm to train keahlin (diligence). This is what becomes the determining is our thoughts, our mind, our conclusions or our choice.

However, in practice it is not as simple as we discussed here. From conversations with several people who feel just undergone a routine work, there's always a justification (justifier) which can be blamed as the cause. This example there are people to conclude he was not / has not got a job or profession in accordance (with the education, competence, experience, etc.).

The difficulty of getting a job, the more suitable employment, has become the reason of the most tender to accept a job as a routine. In addition to these reasons, the issue of salary, rewards, bonuses, and various financial incentives are also often used as an excuse. Indeed when you say the conditions in the field, not many in our company who are willing and able to provide salaries and incentives in accordance with the "normal expectation" of workers. From this state then dimunculkanlah a conclusion to treat the work as a regular routine.

There are still many external reasons that make it worth it to us pointing as the cause of why we only see as a routine job. Questions that may need us come up with is, is it true that this condition can not be changed? Is not the effect will also be returned to us as well?

Principle, as we have seen in advance, this can be changed, depending on our choice. Although we can not change the external circumstances that directly and immediately, but we can alter our internal state directly and immediately. And again, both theory and practice, not the external circumstances were not as decisive us? Is not the external circumstances that in fact only offers and supports us?

Say we are today was to get a job that did not fit with the desires and expectations. At the same time we also have tried to appropriate another job but to no avail. When it comes to the theory and practice, this situation can we accusations as a cause to undergo a routine job and we could also use as an opportunity to pursue skills (managerial, technical and professional), which later we need.

So, essentially re also on the choices we've created.

Therefore, in the scientific literature, routine and persistence is related to three things. These are:

* The dynamics of a stagnant mind
* Exploration of self-less
* Flexibility is low.

When we did not get sober to have clear objectives and clearly we strive for, not consciously to have a target that really challenge or motivate, not immediately aware of to run self-development agenda, almost certainly thought we would stagnate. When it stalled, rutinitaslah who became his target.

So also with self-exploration. In all jobs, whether we think is appropriate or not, that there must be certain parts of the match with something that needed to be short term or long term. This proves that the capacity within us is relative, depending on the empowerment and exploration that we do.

All human beings are given the ability that allows him the flexibility to adapt to their environment. The question is whether we will use it or we leave. If we use it, so in any situation or condition will still be a gap to pursue something. Indeed there must be an easy practice and there must be a difficult.

Some Solutions

Is there a solution? So far the solution is defined as the process we need to do, of course there is. But if it is interpreted as the result of which at the same time, we may be hard to find. Almost all human problems, the solution is more often associated with learning. Learning here is a process of change themselves (thoughts, feelings, actions) for improvement, based on practice.

Well, this related to our discussion, we can do process that include physical penyiasatan. This can be done in various ways and forms. For instance: create a new atmosphere in the workplace, moving to another place, move to another location, and others. Insofar as we can do, and the results were "OK", why not? By creating a new atmosphere, we feel there is something new: new feelings, new thoughts, new spirit, and others. This is so that we do not feel as "routine machine." Lots of little things we can do to create a new atmosphere, new feelings, or new thinking in place of the old.

But it should be noted, sophisticated as any we do physically penyiasatan it, will someday face the same problem. We do this if only purely physical penyiasatan. Say we move the work elsewhere. If our mind is not dynamic, over time we will feel as routine engine. Therefore we need a second penyiasatan. What is it?

There should be an inner penyiasatan. This means we begin to change the contents of mind about the routine, began to change the attitude and treatment. Henceforth, we begin to change the agenda, change target, change targets, change focus, and others. This inner Penyiasatan we can do in a place now or in the new place. We make existing jobs as a farm to pursue something we think is important for the next step. This can be shaped, for example, managerial skills, mental skills, or technical expertise. In all the jobs that exist in this world it must contain three things.

As we've discussed here, principally, all the problems we face in the workplace that offers two options for finding a solution. First is Hobbo (Hang out-but-building-option). That is, we still lead the profession / job there, but trying to develop more options for inner mendinamiskan. For example: to find new gaps, pursue new skills, expand networking, find other activities that support, play a better role, and others. So, who migrated only our inner.

Both are Sobbo (Stay-out-but-better-off). This is our total migration. We leave to another place, occupation / profession other in inner and outer. But it should be conditional on the existence of hope or commitment to realize a better life career, not migrate or migrate only the origin emigrated to avoid the problems that are instantaneous (reactive).

Why? Because, whether we choose Sobbo though, still plays a vital inner dynamics. Millions of cases to prove there are people who have changed jobs / professions many times but ends podo Wae, alias back to the original. Why? Because the dihijrahkan just physical. Meanwhile, his mindset, the mental attitude, his habits, and his skill did not come dihijrahkan. Hopefully useful.

Professional, Responsive

2010-08-13T23:15:00.000-07:00

Gratitude Scale

Ramadan Moment should even this time we can use as a vehicle to enhance our gratitude to the profession or pekerajaan. By increasing gratitude, then our love will increase. Mozart in his experience, his mother's love is what is genius. Even if we had a few technical expertise in our field, but if the love is gone, maybe genius is not displayed.

Why gratitude that becomes an important success-factor in the work, try or profession? If the view of the meaning of language, philosophy of gratitude that contains a very good life. Meaning of gratitude is shady. We're grateful for the same job as a nice shade tree used as a shelter. Meaning of gratitude is the parasite. Work which we are grateful to our step despite mendinamiskan we're in a place which is not ideal, as parasites that can still grow despite the tree trunk. Meaning of gratitude is praised for his kindness we receive. Work we are grateful for supposing the same as objects that we so greatly value because we believe it is a gift.

If you look at religion, profession or occupation grateful that we can do from the start that low-scale or easy, medium, and reached the highest. Low gratitude are the various forms of gratitude that we express with verbal / speech. For example we express gratitude to God for the profession or occupation in which we live today.

Taught religious people express gratitude to God. Logically how? We are commanded to recognize that the right to be commended for the success or our goodness is not our job or profession, but of God. With the permission of God we finally get a good or achievement. Without goodness, our efforts may not be this good. This is at once an affirmation that we are forbidden to think that all the achievements that we have had absolutely no involvement with their Lord.

While mid-level gratitude is gratitude that we express with words and hearts. Shape, among others, we concluded in our hearts that this day has been a lot of goodness or God's blessings we have received. People who give thanks with grateful hearts can sometimes bad things happen to him, such as businesses affected by layoffs or bankruptcy. Of course that is not grateful for his dismissal, but a mind that is capable of creating conditions grateful or able to release positive energy in responding to negative events by us. This example by believing that if without the goodness of God, maybe that happens could be worse, or believes there is good behind the bad things that we see. Could also be included here the ability to see blessing (benediction) behind Disguise (catastrophe).

Last is celebrating with a greeting, heart, and action. How grateful to the action?

Grateful for the actions that the key is in our ability to use existing potential within us or resource that exists around us, to repair themselves to a higher level, in ways which are not violated. His opponent is Kufr (denial and neglecting). We allow potential and existing resources. We use it in a way that violates or for negative purposes. Or we deny the existence of resources and potential.

In essence, grateful for a job or profession that is programmed in seeing the job outlook and use it for purposes of a more positive and in a positive way. We looked at work today as an asset (not a burden or routines) that we use as repair facilities themselves, such as improving the skills, explore their potential, improve the network, improving performance, and so on.

"It's not success that makes you love the job,

but love is what makes you successful "

(Herman Chain)

From Job Security to the Security Career

According to the survey, for example, has ever done Sirota Survey Intelligence, New York (2000-2004), one might say that all the people for the first time can be grateful for a job or profession. Minimum, with the word oral. We express gratitude to God for our success is received in an agency or employment. Surveys show that almost all people have the "engagement" are very good when she first worked.

But, over time, our gratitude in danger. We start creating a negative opinion towards work, towards the office atmosphere, to the superiors in the office, or on the problematic in the office. Not to mention plus the negative whispers from people around us through gossip, competition, and back-biting. According to the survey, the "engagement" we began to deteriorate after six months of work.

If in those days there was no cleansing the soul that we do, whether by way of their own or facilitated by the office, then we will be very potential to be a "passive-destroyers." We become people who damage our souls. For example we have chosen to protest unfair workload, is not the workload makes it as a learning tool to improve themselves. Or we terkuasi by the lust of dissatisfaction, not using dissatisfaction for repairs. If this is not done immediately purge the soul, then we will be very potential to become people who "active destroyers". We invite or persuade others to think just like us.

"How could I be grateful for my job: not ideal conditions, field-links do not match, the people in office have started there is cut throat competition, promotion has been played by favouritsm, salaries do not rise-up, wherever the job is always to use the system contract? " And so on and so forth.

If you see the "theory" of God, turned out to be grateful it is to deal with the internal solution or an ideal situation which is not ideal at all. Internal solution is important. According to the law of attraction (the law of attraction) that works magic in this world, before we get the external solution, we must create an internal solution first. That is, although we are currently in the middle of the work environment which we think is not at all ideal, but if we succeed in creating conditions grateful mind, then we will certainly get a job or profession that we think is ideal or ideal according to our circumstances. Kesyukurannya not necessarily limited to verbal forms, but using the job today as a resource or asset for self-improvement in a way that does not violate. Use of work to improve technical competence, mental competence, expand networking, explore products, deepen procedures, and so on.

This is different to when we are not grateful. Although we are already in place the ideal, can-can condition our inner bad will drag us into a place which is not ideal. For example we believe is right a career in the profession that we're in.. If we do not use the opportunities that exist for self-improvement, over time we changed the position of an asset to the company's expense. If we violate, would not want the company will issue a policy of expulsion or dismissal.

Thus, gratitude is the cause (the cause) to obtain solutions. Gratitude is the way (the way) to reach their goals. Borrowing a term in career development, if we are thankful, the positions of our careers will be changed from that originally keamananya depends on the job (job security) to depend on the skills / competencies (career security), along with the increasing capabilities and our role.

"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."

(Will Roger)

Responsive Work That Starts Where?

Where do we begin to appreciate your job or profession? To us who have not received an answer, we need to audit our love is a level of job or profession. Referring to the opinion of Al-Ghazali, Sufism figure, author of "The Alchemy of Happiness" (1883), we love the job or profession that can be grouped into four levels are:

* Lower level is when we love on the job / profession because of the extent we can meet the interests of (unilateral), for example, to the extent that we get paid, status, place, and so on.
* The next level is when we love on the job / profession because there are reciprocal contributions (transactional). This is much like his love for a trader to the purchaser. So far there is love there is a mutually beneficial transaction.
* Level on it is when his love we are bound by the same vision with the people there. We love the profession / job because there are figures, climate, or culture that we think is a good company or a similar vision.
* The top level is when we love on the job / profession is bound by a commitment to beraktualisasi inner-self, we do good because good is good for us and create the world, aka we continue to develop themselves regardless of external circumstances that occurred in the profession or occupation us. If this is realized to run the commands of God, our love will continue Perfected.

In practice, we must make a distinction difficulties in black and white in the top four levels of love. The human mind is complex and dynamic. Leveling love above will be a very fitting that we use as an abstraction that show (self improvement guide). That is, to be grateful for a profession / job should begin efforts to raise the level of our love into the fourth. If not all of them, yes partly. If you can not apply to all circumstances, minimum for a particular situation.

Certainly not enough to just change jobs grateful inner order. There should be specific to the real agenda we run. Important agenda is to be more (raise standards of achievement, increase the ability of a role, raising the target and your goals. Why? If our inner stagnate (satisfied with what they are), will be easily overcome by negative virus, the same as the fate of water does not flow.

Naturally raise standards of achievement are not enough. Should we continue with Learn more (increase and tambahlan expertise, networks, and moral obedience). Learn more we can do themselves or through the assistance of others and the organization. Logically, where maybe we can achieve performance standards that if we had resources and tools-that's all. Stephen Covey said, you will not get different results if you just how and expertise.

Finally, as the actualization, we need to formulate what we can do to improve yourself, Do more (a larger role, working harder, working smarter). In essence, grateful for a job or profession is the key word is, how far we mendinamiskan memprogresifkan inner and our steps and coupled with the awareness that it's all we do to fulfill orders or to search for On Top of His keridloan. Hopefully useful.

Being the Other Person Likes People

2010-08-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

Learning From Case

Important fact is not it a lot of people liked it? The answer could be crucial and could not. It depends on the circumstances, reasons, and context. But, in general, dasariyah human instinct that has a tendency to want to groove. The proof, people will feel happy if he liked a lot of people. Conversely, people will feel uneasy or (minimum) is less happy when the hated or less favored.

The question is, how do we make of those people who disengani others? In theory we did not find the standard technique for that. From the practice of life, there are clues that we can catch. One is, that humans tend to like the character or behavior is less extreme (too much on the edge or too) for things that are options / can be chosen. But this is not all as well. If you look at some common cases, behaviors or properties that have the potential to invite disapproval among others:

First, it is too quiet or too noisy. Ideally, we provide the opportunity for others to talk about himself, about his knowledge or about his experience. In addition, we also need to provide the opportunity to listen. So what happens is a dialogue for mutual give-receive or place a warm conversation. Dialogue can be fun to invite warmth or a pleasant impression.

But if we're just a listener who is too quiet, passive, even more so less enthusiastic to provide feedback to others, this potentially invite disapproval. Conversely, too. If we are to dominate the conversation, we reveal ourselves at length, especially coupled with the attitude that less show respect when other people express themselves, even this potentially invite disapproval.

So, too quiet that's not good, but too crowded not very good also. Too good not passive, but active also not too good. Too quiet to make other people boring, but too busy to make others feel uncomfortable. According to the theory of the relationship, too quiet or too passive it is usually done by some people who abdicraft. His opponent is autocraft, too active, too want to dominate, and so on. That is suggested to be a democratic people: do not impose a private will, too passive and not too cold. Too crowded often given the nickname "omdo" (way doang) or big-mouth (the big mouth). Conversely, too much silence is often given the nickname "the statue", imitators, and others.

Second, too much or too ignorant to intervene. Ideally, what is needed is to give attention to (care) or share the feeling (sharing) in times of need (empathy). This much attention. Could be in the form of feelings, attitudes or actions. People will feel more respected when he knows we put empathy. Empathy is the caring that we express in various forms. In the concept of self-development, including pillar empathy in improving interpersonal skills. Interpersonal skill is the ability of a person in opening, maintaining, and empowering relationships (with others). The characteristics of people who have good capabilities in this regard, among others:

- Empathy: can share and care about others

- Support the development of others (developing others)

- Communicate effectively

- Can listen to others

- Have a high commitment to obey a promise or agreement

- It could respect others

- Can see the positive and negative sides objectively

If the pleasure of inviting empathy, it interfering too much into the territories of other people's private affairs are often considered to potentially invite disapproval. The more so if the intervention was assessed instead added to the problem (not solve / reduce the problem) or make people feel less comfortable. There are still certain areas which we are expected to intervene. But it usually stays there a limit / barrier has been installed a red light that means is: do not be too much to go inside. It is rarely spoken.

So also was too ignorant, too ignorant or too indifferent. More often, too blase as bad with too much to interfere. If we see the theory of human relationships, it interfering too often practiced by most people who oversocial. Conversely, it is usually too ignorant done by some people who undersocial. Both are over or under, they are often considered less good. That is suggested to be inclusive: not too cool and not too much to interfere.

Third, too closed or too open. Ideally, we need to create self-explanation about the things that need to be explained and need not explain the things that are not necessary. What's necessary and what's so unnecessary? Even this is difficult to explain. Generally, the necessary and unnecessary it can only be understood by feeling.

In scientific literature the term known as self-disclosure, self-disclosure is intended to enhance the meaning / quality relationships. Self-disclosure is different from the self-description (self-explanation). The most fundamental difference is, self-disclosure was a form of self-disclosure about significant things for themselves and for others (really important to build relationships).

Self-diclosure This would not only invite the pleasure and intimacy, but instead could invite confidence (trust). In Psychology & Life (1979) stated that trust starts from self-diclosure. So, usually, from the disclosure was born familiarity and confidence born of familiarity. But, he says, self-disclosure here is not limited to the oral statement (verbal statement of self-diclosure), but a series of actions that can explain who we are. If what we say it's different from what we do, this might even invite disapproval and distrust.

However, too open to also invite disapproval. Okay, tell others or shown to others so that could be interpreted as showing off. Not only that, too open too often becomes a weakness. To build familiarity, too open to it often as bad as too closed. Too close very often interpreted as an attempt to keep a distance, like oil and water. If this applies to people who only know of course fine, but when applied to people who have a longstanding relationship, this is usually less powerful to build intimacy.

Three points above it's new general cases which have dependence on a very specific context. It means can not dijeneralisasi. For example, there are people who ask forgiveness fussy. For people who already know and understand, of course no problem. But for new situations and new people, could have different results.

In practice, fondness and dislike the man more often associated with the issue of understanding and interrelatedness-understanding (mutual understanding). Therefore, many people who hate others because of misunderstanding, lack of understanding, or do not understand each other. So are many people who loved someone else because they understand each other.

PRINCIPLES & THEORY liking and disliking

In the theory of science, we can find a lot of explanation about liking (love) and disliking (dislike). By seeing this, hopefully we can use to understand reality and we can also use to fix it. Some of the many theories of knowledge which speaks like and dislike about this among others:

Physical Attractiviness theory. Intuitively, one would prefer other people interesting in terms of physical appearance. This example only: beautiful, handsome, clean, neat, orderly, and so on and so forth. People who looked at least neat though sometimes it does not like people who do not neatly. Smokers themselves often do not like the other smokers who carelessly smoking.

Competency theory: People tend to prefer someone more competent, have a lot of toxicity, more creative, more skilled, more smart, and so on and so forth. Even on business, people like / trust others because they saw their competence ketimbangan brother, son or best friend.

Reciprocal theory. People tend to like people who like it (no return). Like attracts like, so he said. But this is still the record that the joy we showed it to be genuine, not contrived or just to find the face. If that far-fetched or just to find the face, usually even cause discomfort.

Similiarity & Complementary theory. People tend to like people who have some semblance / similarity with himself. This example alone: one local, one's alma mater, one party, one hobby, one vision, one thought, one feeling, and so on and so forth. But he said, the similarities and the similarity was not able to produce a lasting pleasure, if not supported by other elements to be reinforced. Therefore it must be complementary: complementary, mutual support, mutual giving-getting, and so on. If it does not appear complementary, so by itself it similiarity they just past.

Exchange theory. People will think much of anyone else who gives a profit, plus the value, or benefit to him. Minimum no disadvantage. Problem was in the form of material or non-material, it's a matter of context. Principally, there is no human being can accept the loss of the interaction process is executed.

Reinforcement theory. People will think much of anyone else who respects himself. This not only specifically addressed to the person who gave the award, but also to the person close to the giver. Give an award may include other forms of positive feelings.

Gain-loss theory. According to this theory, we would like others that the evaluation, correction, or the support given to us tend to always be improving, not deteriorating or mediocre. Conversely, too. We are more likely to be not happy with someone else instead of the longer the better valuations, attitudes or treatment.

If the above we have seen cases of the general with a specific context, well below let's look at the basic values that will definitely generate hatred or pleasure. These basic values apply universally, not seeing people, circumstances, contexts, places, and not dependent on external attributes (eg religion, ethnicity, education, or social status).

What are the basic values? certainly most of it we already know. Not required by our knowledge, but realize it in practice alive. This example only:

- Takabbur: lift yourself by the motif (secretly or openly) to denigrate other people

- Envy-envy (envy): glad to see other people hard and hard to see other people happy; want favors others moved to him, wanting favors others missing, etc.

- Lack of keeping commitments / agreements: break a promise, lie, cheat, and so on

If we see the psychology literature, we find also the term personality disorder, which potentially invite disapproval peculiarity of others if it exceeded the proportional limit. This example only:

Too same-suspicious of others, can not forgive others (especially the small ones), easy enemies, loves to criticize everything

- Displays the aura of pessimism, self-lock, do not care about criticism or praise

- Enjoys strange story (no sense), rather strange-looking (outside to stage art), likes to have excessive fears of the condition

Temparemen-high, reckless (lose control), did not care responsibilities, often makes the action that endangers others

Mood-unstable (easy to love and easy to hate), is too large depends on others, or too easily offended

- Easily influenced, wishy-washy, ngomongnya ngacau everywhere

-Arogan, have excessive desire to be respected, irritable, hard to understand other people's positions

- Too insecure, less willing to take risks, just want maximum flexibility but the risk is not, is rarely out of or little interaction with the crowd

- Too quiet for fear of hate, happiness hung himself on others, often feel no one else in this world

Too idealistic, too rigid to practice the knowledge, tradition, or religious understanding (memedomani "truth-own" excessive), stubborn

That all are examples that we can make reference in their interaction. Indeed not all of them can invite disapproval, but the minimum can inhibit intimacy.

Some Notes

Regardless of whether we consider the question of "groove" and "less favored" the affairs of this important or not, but there are some points that we need to make personal notes. These include:

-Need to think realistically based on common sense. This means that there can be no person who loved by everyone or hated by all. The basic principle is the most, a small, generally, the majority, and others.

-Do not make it a destination. If we want to do something or show certain properties, but our purpose is only to favored people, usually we can be quite the opposite. So how? Ideally is, we do positive things, positive personality, positive attitude, etc., but that's all we live as a process of self-actualization (self-improvement). Point. Problem people like it or not, this is their business.

-Not enough to stop only at the level of "groove". If it is returned to the business of self-development (self-development), the most important thing is to be trusted to others. That to be true, it must first groove, it was more often true.

-Do not make it as a wrap or a mere trick to deceive or fool (someone else and yourself). For example we behave "pretentious" clean, polite, passion, intellect, are guy, and others, but it's all based on the motive to launch a business that harm others. Ideally, we need to make it as a character or nature, not as merely an expression of personality is conditioned by the interests for a moment. It is sometimes difficult to avoid. However, we remain well beracuan on the character or nature.

-Keep starting from within ourselves first. Others want to groove but less happy with other people, it's difficult. Want to wake up with a good relationship, but we (in practice) to do things that damage, it is also difficult.

Hopefully useful.

How To Use Feelings

2010-08-13T22:59:00.002-07:00

Middle Road

What science has to offer by bringing up the term assertive in communication is actually a middle ground. Middle way here is the most appropriate way, most smaller negative, or at least close to the effectiveness and efficiency in communication. Much evidence suggests that communicating assertively to improve productivity, harmony, and far from the conflict that is triggered by trivial things.

As we all know, a common understanding of asertivitas it is a person's ability to express what she feels in ways that are polite, be accepted by the universal human instinct (considering the position of others), and by selecting a sentence, argument, or reason. In some literature, communication is often described that it is asertivitas person's ability to express opinions, feelings, attitudes and rights in a way that convinces without violating the rights of others (Self-assertion for Women, Pamela Butler, 1981, etc.)

For example we received a sms to attend the launching ceremony of his book that dipanitia own comrades. With just a quick read, we already know for sure that we can not come to a very specific reason. We then respond by apologizing and thanks for the invitation. To be more assertive again, we added a sentence, please, next time I notified a day or two days earlier so he could manage time. This is probably just a common example.

The opposite of assertiveness (extreme right) is ignored what we feel about other people (non-assertive passive). Many of the seeds of conflict that eventually turned into a big koflik out of control because the feeling ignored. To borrow the phrase Hawk Williams (1996), suppress feelings (especially negative about another person), especially the potential to make us lose a healthy perspective on the man. The purpose of a healthy perspective here is that we can no longer see the positive side of all the negative side we versican about that person. We have concluded unanimously that John Doe was indeed ugly. In fact, it's possible he's still got the good.

Say in our house there was a worker, whether it's a driver or helper (read: domestic workers) or other. According to us, he had been frequently made mistakes, but we just kept hoping he was aware of its own without direct him not to say it or make mistakes. If this continues to happen, so maybe we'll lose perspective. In fact, if we want to express our feelings assertively, this might not happen.

His opponent again (extreme left) is unable to suppress a feeling (non-assertive aggressive). Without a sense of sin we express what we feel about other people and we do not want to care whether our language is good in the recipient's feelings or not. The important thing for us is that we have to express what it is. To convince the recipient, we plead with honesty. "Honestly lho I say it!"

Well, in any scientific literature, whose name asertivitas was strongly associated with the term ability (the ABILITY); even in the management literature calls by the term competence. The point here is, someone to be assertive because there is a process improvement effort undertaken or are there ways to improve his communication. This differs with his opponent's two (extreme right and left). No one calls this capability. Both are often referred to as the "attitude".

Indeed, to become assertive in demonstrating that feeling there is no easy way. In the sense that once there was a direct desire materialize into reality. People who classmate Tony Blair have admitted this. As quoted in a number of sites of motivation, he said Tony Blair had said this: "The difficult part is to say" No "

Ability in partnering with

others are "commodities" that are expensive.

(John D Rockefeller)

Measure Level Asertivitas

As I alluded to earlier, it had the capability asertivitas. His name is also the ability, of course is related to how far we have been improving that ability. Just as a personal reference, we can make the directions below as a guide to self improvement.

Asertivitas we are still low when the way we communicate is still dominated by the following general characteristics:

* We often choose silence for fear of hate others, fear of misunderstanding, or fear of the person offended, or resentful.
* We are more often choosing to express what it is from what we feel about other people without thinking about language, expressions, and feelings of others (hit kromo)
* We often use language that is normative or explanation (too polite) so that the point where, why and addressed to siapanya unclear. The more so if we add more with the statement that Ngalor ngidul.

To level the already asertivitas medium, the directions that we can make the guidelines include:

* We are more often able to express feelings to others content with the language and phrases we target selection and we want to understand other people.
* We are more often able to direct others with a detailed explanation and reason so that others could catch it or it could encourage others to improve their achievement
* We've been able to say "No" and "Yes" for a reason, needs and circumstances are right. We say "No" to a demand that is not rational.
* We've been able to explain the lack of other people with the spirit, language, and explanations that encourage others to fix it. For example, we have used the data, facts, references or the flow of scientific thinking more clearly and concretely
* We've been able to melt the ngeyel's, defensivitas, and the subjectivity of others in a good way, including able to explain the consequences of his actions in detail and acceptable.

While included in the category of high-level features generally include:

* We're not afraid of the potential for conflict, not even the fishing had caused the conflict, and above all else, we have often proved capable of dealing with conflict well.
* We have trained travel ways conflict with an open, fair, and focuses on issues, problems, interests, or expediency, not because of personal sentiments, or to use in ways that in the back (stab in the back)
* We are used to resolve conflicts with a decision to consent, whether they agree to agree or agree to disagree, or have been used to negotiate a win-win or a lose-lose. The term is a gentle face the problem.

"Two people can not become familiar if

fail to forgive a small failure. "

(Jean De La Bruyere)

Obstacles & Solutions

Normally, everyone would crave an assertive way of communicating. But to realize it needed the ability to know and overcome several obstacles, both internal or external. General, of all barriers that include:

First, defeated by the stereotypes that we create for themselves or by others. If we've concluded this is my style as a woman or a man, as someone born in Batak, Javanese, or Madura, almost certainly we fail to improve, although we really can afford. According to the experience of many people, which rational way to beat the stereotype is to bring encouragement to change and find a model of people who were ever a stereotype like us. If we conclude this long because the woman's we who make us often harbored feelings, we can find another woman who can express their feelings assertively.

Second, lazy thinking, does he want a shortcut, and semisalnya, so we failed to find language, expression, or a nice style acceptable to others. For those who did not used to express feelings assertively, the exercise is to create a mental scenario coupled with a reference to another person. For example we have to imagine what we say to deal with the A when this, this and this. If we do not have a stance, we can imitate other people. This indeed does not guarantee success, but as an exercise, it is required.

Third, defeated by the opinions, conceptions, and negative perceptions of our own making. A father who has created many negative opinions about her son who named the A, for example naughty just remember, remember the drop in value, remember pembangkangannya course, almost certainly difficult to communicate assertively. Which will appear sooner is a phrase or a style that is triggered by a sense of disappointment and anger. Of note Dr. Dilip Abayasekara, Ph.D., asertivitas was strongly associated with attitude and our assessment. "If you respect, honor and love something, you easily become assertive about something that", he wrote.

Fourth, keminderan or low sense of responsibility. Keminderan stems from fear (fear), a sense of lack (lack), and a sense of blank (empty). Fear can make us harbored feelings for too long or too fast blow feelings. If we are often quick "nyolot", does not mean it is the courage that drives us, but more often an uncontrollable fear.

In other words, to increase asertivitas, which required not merely memorize the tip to communicate, but rather on the improvement of the soul. The more "confident" of our souls, the more assertive way of our communication. The soul could be improved "confident" equip them with data, facts, experience, commitment, or knowledge in that field. For example, we do not agree with the opinions of people a lot about an affair. So far we have an intimate knowledge of that area, we fear we must decrease or remain confident with our stance. Elimination of fear and increased self-confidence can make your chest wider.

Fifth, the faster the bait or manipulated by the situation. This we can see on the highway. Tersenggol people just a little, want to fight directly. Even a bride who drove a luxury to be wed only once because the car can fight blisters. This can happen because we are easily carried by emotions and situations that place. Indeed, recognized or not, where and when it affects someone asertivitas. So we do not quickly rise to the bait, the way that is needed is self control and direct mouth squabbles with the agreement, decision or settlement.

"If the tool you have is a hammer, you will

brought to view all problems as nails. "

HOW REMOVING LAZINESS

2010-08-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

laziness this includes the words used most older people. We are familiar with word from small to this old. Nah, that practice to see life and theories of ada, forms and nature laziness can be explained like below:

first, there are changes lethargy triggered by external factors. Borrowing terms used philip g. Zimbardo, scott, foresman (1979) in his book psychology & life, this can be called laziness shaped "state" (state). A sudden lazy to entrepreneurs will result when the money people business for missing deceived. One student / students will be lazy when sudden lecturer / teacher favorite assignee no more teaching materials favorite. Many people who suddenly lazy when empty contents of his wallet. General, laziness shaped "state" is temporary (temporary).

Second, there are caused arising laziness mood rhythm. Mood intensity changes are feeling. Some call also with the terms of life cycle (life cycle). This such general laziness experienced by almost all human. Swot most people are dealing with any moments sometimes made her feel lazy. That distinguish problem here is not and do not ever pernahnya, but what is the second time-seconds to do that bad then. There are only daydreaming, the streets around without purpose, there are fill of reading, watching and others.

Merely as brainstorming, designing better we need special activities for dealing with this second-second such. If can, activity that we may designs se-supportive with core activities. What we can do an activity imitate ceo print media i know. Usually, the father of this tour desk-table to employees just for asking questions. So it's getting a new inspiration or picture, to her back again primary task. Although even this we can not we echoed ceo.

Third, there is that we are laziness are creating their own. Laziness such this can be called "trait", by gift. By gift here means congenital or not such that often we call "destiny someone". By gift here means we are creating, which we choose, we own the cause. Laziness permanent like this, or abadi. For we do not change that, during the same laziness were perched in ourselves. Some say, laziness by gift this no cure. Anyone not equipped miracle to cure the disease called laziness by gift this, including the prophet.

Although in theory laziness boxes that we can-boxing in such a way, but in practice often the boxes were not clearly distinguishable. Even when we want to cause-cause probe laziness someone from upstream to downstream, this will not exist stem end (so the number and so diverse).

The only way is cut eye chain. How are making with yourself as a centre (locus of control). The reason is very clear. Although there are some external factors that make our lazy, but if we are committed to resist be lazy, laziness then that temporary. But if not, laziness triggered minimum or any endowment will be too old place, can even be a label, or nature hallmark.

What makes that endowment laziness?

Logic under the normal, of course no lazy people who want. The proof, there is no happy with people who feel laziness. If so, laziness mean about that because there comes something. What is something that? Of course this lot. Based on the practice and theory, there are some things that we can make or reference guide. Between these other:

first, do not have a clear goal of life. This goal can-shaped: what do we want, what we want to earn, what we want to have. This is the target short-term, medium term or long term. There are called vision, goal (goal), or target too.

Related why is the target? Oh of course. If we already know that goal we want, we will then logic is driven to achieve it. Goal clarity regarding the power of motivation and determination someone. By anthony robbin, is actually in the world that there is no lazy people. Lazy because people do not have to be clear goals.

Other explanation to say that people who do not have a goal or purpose of life really want the very potential achieved hit what's called inner stagnation. Inner stagnant easily overcome by various diseases and poop, one of them is laziness. So, with related laziness 'developmental process'.

Second life philosophy of negative. Just like this: "than hard work is not yet rich-rich, passable employment carelessly aja", "schools doing diligent, toh was that many graduate idle", "boro-boro rizki search the halal, haram are asking hard aja god ", and other onwards.

Why that is all negative? By direction (international direction orientation), so often drag conclusions on the pattern of life that we are lazy. So, what we need is beware of him, not entirely his fault right and the content. Better think we need to learn that even harder not to be a graduate of jobless. Better think again need to work harder and smarter again so rich. Although this can not provide insurance in time at once, but a positive direction, dynamics and energy positive positive. We need to realize that sometimes there is a lot but not the right acknowledgements useful (positive).

Third, too many and too old feelings or negative allow your mind. Basically everyone never to negative thoughts raises yourself, or others state. Sometimes it is that distinguishes levels, frequency and velocity in self cleaning. Why are affecting the mind and feelings? This is definitely feel we could direct.

If we let judgment yourself against negative are too old or too much, then comes the conclusion is that negative accumulative. Like this: i am not able to, i do not can, i always feel inferior, i hesitate, my lazy, i am not happy with my self, and so forth. Thus conclusions are not we make off, but, as we are natural, very conclusion psoitif energy appears blocking.

Because that, good science teaching of religion or have advised the same. Under any circumstances or any position in our recommendations for choosing the mind and mentality of oriented thanksgiving. Thanksgiving means someone in ability mengaoptimalkan resource use for which there had been reached with performance positive ways. The potential for using think optimal as possible. Think for using the facility optimal as possible.

Because we are always negative thoughts susceptible, whether or that we create your own submissions from others, then, ideally, cleaning the thoughts and feelings that we need to do like we are never enough bath once. Read the book once not enough, not enough listening inspiring advised once, not once enough reading articles and not enough motivating yourself once. We need all the life that we feel is poop extent disturbing.

Fourth, do not want to choose the positive. For adult (read: not the child's) this is the key. Love failed, failed business, failure career, and others, is that all can trigger laziness. But, as we have seen, kemasalan in situ only temporary. Makes frequent endowment for immediate rejection is risen. If we refused self-generating, all laziness are eternal. If we choose to be fixed lazy, then there is no power can make that we shall not be lazy.

If want to use opinions bandura (www.mhnet.org, 2002), immoral behavior various and that means less (including laziness), regarding the mechanism of more than mental mistakes with someone system of shared values. For adult, all will know if it's not something that laziness positive. Despite all know this but not automatic knowledge move someone to not lazy behavior. This is more evidence that laziness mechanisms related to mental or someone's mentality. Our actions, words dietrich bonhoeffer, driven by more awareness for responsible. This also for adult pas.

If we are aware of our responsibility as students, it is unlikely student that we can be lazy. We are aware responsibility if we as employees, it is unlikely our employees that can be lazy. And on and on. Awareness is the motivation and commitment intrinsic raises (initiative and determination of in).

Fifth, learn to use less emotions blasting. Angry, not satisfied, shy, afraid, want to be praised, and so forth, including forms that are blasting the emotion. We can use this for laziness and can also drive we use to add laziness. If parents would be afraid scolded sag we can we value for use in learning push. Shy people said we can use for idle more activities. Not satisfied with the chance we can we use this day to stimulate changes.

So, although blasting is negative and positive emotions but uses given to us. If used for positive things, become positive. But if used for negative things, yes would increase negative. For people who have not arouse promissory himself from the people who have not succeed or building strong foundations personal, tehnik this more often succeed. Are just temporary duration, and easily fade can also in side potential deviations (motivation or minus negative). That because the transformation into the required equipment.

Building foundations personal

why should build the foundation personal? As we have seen, causes and triggers laziness if that many wanted (countless). Moreover, if we find that is the cause external outside ourselves. However, toh edges which will be the key here is the main equipment ourselves. This is the reason why we need to build that foundation.

Is a set of foundation personal foundations are we living in use as a basis stepped. With a strong foundation is expected easy life we do not waver or break by things that we do not want. What personal needed for the building foundations of this?

First, keep stability. Word people, living like this bike. To stability awake, must be driven, to follow or to be climbed. Stop that once the bike, then lost stability. Stabilize how life? Does this need goals and programs. As we have seen, goal that will move us to achieve it. Balance so perfect, the target that we may stacking seharmonis ourselves with the situation.

Say if your student or students an. If you make that does not match with the target existence of as your student or students, this will be in learning potential to cause laziness. Make the target, target, the programs and match with existence of your current situation.

Second, please do alignment. Terms used in this frequently business management. Understanding the effort to rectify is essentially not to step out of the track, rel, target, target, goal, vision, mission and beyond. Running business is the same as ship serving. Strong winds, waves, storm or bad weather will then ship out deflect direction of track. So back on track to exist "alignment".

So too with our lives. Many events or treat from outside the potentially trigger laziness, like for example: failed, not dealing with people who co-operative, didholimi people, and others. Too many needs, and problems that desire sometimes pressed then we make out of track. So not be all that trigger and causes of the endowment laziness then required or too old alignment. We like this again remembering our goal, our purpose, our targets, our program, and so forth.

Third, have to have a personal-urgency. Urgency insistence here or into which such deadline we ourselves to make their own (personal-imposed). To generate yourself or expel idleness, temporary that good or abadi, usually this is in order. General shortage is too old we thought and feeling laziness, like: why my lazy, lazy what makes me, how to tip-tip so as not lazy, and other but we do not make personal immediately implement-imposed.

The technique may need to give deadline or target achievements of specific. This we can start small like most of the morning wake up. Many people who can not wake up early because how many hours do not have to wake up deadlines and what will be done after the wake up morning. Because that, experts recommend timing goal in making, whether it's short term, medium or long term.

Fourth, to learning continuous (continuous learning). As we have often seen, learning that means of improving yourself what we do. This can learn for life we must be dynamic condition. There must be dynamic conditions for which the target we really strive for. It's hard to improve themselves when we live or silent statis. Dynamic delivery will the inner hard, while the inner statis even usually make our stubborn.

Fifth, to open yourself to something different or can enlightenment to inspire, motivate, cleaning the inner and turn thoughts poop. This lot shape, just like: read books or articles, lectures or listening to the story, see event, which tour educate, and others. Point is, like when asked by reporters conclusions krishnamurti, laziness that comes when the mind is a sleep! Hopefully useful.

Treat Arrogance

2010-07-28T00:25:00.001-07:00

Mystery Behind Arrogance

According to the Great Dictionary of Indonesian language, it is called arrogant people who have a sense of superiority and it manifested into a pushy attitude, hubris, arrogance, or hubris. In everyday practice, the arrogance that we enter into the list of vanity. All universal human instinct in this world no one can accept arrogance. Given human instincts and love to hate kearogansian humility. Therefore, the most arrogant people will reject even kearogansian shown to others.

All Scripture in this world prohibiting different forms of kearogansian. Word of Scripture is not to tell (because all people already know), but rather to alert (reminder). Perhaps, because we often forget or are not aware, even though we already know, the reminder is needed in order to realize and remember. One of the reasons why the reminder is important because kearoganan someone can hurt themselves.

Alas the lightest and it is very real: the arrogance that would be a source of error in treating yourself and others. If this is translated to the theory of competence, arrogance that would make a person weak in terms of intrapersonal and interpersonal skills. Arrogance is a distortion. Wise people say, we can not walk a straight line if there are irregularities in his mind.

Questions are sometimes confusing, if the human conscience refuses kearoganan and know what is good, but why this fact is sometimes often emerged kearoganan? Either when observed from the literature or from practice of life, it turns out that there kearoganan us into issues and discussions that are not as easy as we see its physical appearance. Part of the reason is, because the motives behind them vary.

If we reject the kindness of others with a motive for the high prestige or liver, is also close to arrogance. If we reject the advice of others (which in essence it is all we need), with a motive to show that we are the ones who had the most correct, even this close. If we explain ourselves with the explanation that "wah-wah" (but this is contrary to our reality), with motives so that other people perceive us "well", even this close. So, the arrogance that sometimes arise because the motives for the shortfall, fear, incompetence, or because there is something less and minus on ourselves. Arrogance can appear as a form of impingement of keminderan (feeling of lack and feeling of fear).

But sometimes not. Arrogance comes about because it is the fact that we have the reasons for the arrogant. It's like one of the people who become arrogant because of his wealth, because of his knowledge, because of his achievements, because of his expertise, because of his experience, because the family-size, and others.

In management practice, which is considered one of the very danger from people who already have work experience in years is the emergence of arrogance which manifested into a form of attitude or nature, among others: feel is full, a low regard of others, and others. So that became the motive here is the arrogance of someone achievements.

Another thing that often happens too, sometimes it appears as someone kearoganan triggered by certain external factors. Arrogance here temporarily as a reaction. It's like somebody feel humiliated or degraded the dignity of life and take action in the form of attitude and treatment matching. Arrogance shown here is a reactive form of vanity top vanity of others.

In addition to its reaction, there are also other forms of arrogance displayed a person as innate (trait). Here is the innate nature of the point-sfat attached to someone and it's been a long time and have never stepped up to become a kind of label. Arrogance of character like this too often we encounter.

This may be related to upbringing, past experiences, and others. In fact, if you hear many people comment in the field, this kind of arrogance is not only related to personal life history. Occasionally, also associated with a history of social life in a society and as individuals memanifestasikannya personal attitudes.

What is the source?

In theory, all human character, whether good or bad, there must be some influence of two factors, namely the external factors and internal factors. In moral theory it is said that human character is formed from several things, among others: the little gift of knowledge, experience, schools, parents, community environment, reading, mental attitudes or habits.

In the study of psychology known as the term narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Psychology Today (2007), writes that people belonging to these narcissistic, among others, his type is: an arrogant, conceited, self-centered, arrogant or haughty. People who belong to imagine himself as narcissistic is superior or above the others and so they are determined to reflect the excessive lifestyle of success.

In addition, they are also hungry for praise and attention to strengthen her self-value. As a result, the narcissistic model is very sensitive to various kinds of criticism. Even criticism is often regarded as an attempt to bring down or attack. Symptoms and characteristics, among others, described as follows:

- Provide an overreaction to criticism, for example, angry or condescending

- Utilize / uses others to achieve his goal, for example little bit with language telling others that "ordered" or exploiting other people

- Feeling himself as someone important in the excessive concentration

- Enjoy the fantasies associated with the life of a successful, glamorous or luxurious in an inappropriate level of objective needs.

- Expect an irrational treatment

- It takes attention away from other people, hungry for praise

- Easily offended or easily envious or jealous easily

- Lack of empathy toward others

By design not found in nature causes the exact why that person became narcissistic. But a lot of research that revealed that there were indeed certain factors associated with childhood. This is partly too often defended parents who are not educated, excessive praise (the more so that is not factual), a parent who is weak in front of her son, and the less educated to respond to reality in a realistic, fair and objective.

It is a source of external influence when we do not yet have the capacity to choose (feedom to choose) or when still a child. After we are adults, the causes were not valid even if true. Why? We want to get any model of care, the adverse effect of that pride will not return to the model of parenting, but to ourselves. Therefore, after we are adults, the internal factors become decisive. Talking about internal factors, there are some things that we can review to explain the sources of pride. Some of these include:

First, the malice. This venom contains three terms, namely: a) we do not want to see more of others of us, b) we want what other people have received it moved into our hands, c) we want achievement that other people got it immediately disappeared from side. Energized lifestyle envy of energy is often raised vanity. Arrogance that appears it could be to cover keminderan or to show the arrogance and excessive pride

Secondly, ignorance. Stupidity here is understanding the mind closing the door or who is often called "ignorant" (to cover). So it was not stupid in the sense of his little, low education level, do not subscribe to newspapers or magazines, or academic degree does not exist. What kind of foolishness that often make us proud? This example alone: we feel the most right, felt no need to learn from others, felt that all the opinions of others is wrong, and others.

Virus essential folly in the sense that it can affect anyone. A clever person can strike, the academic degree is good, people are low-level academic education, people who want to be pious, and others. People who do not know, but thought he knew everything and refused to be given out, is folly. People who already know, but felt most knowledgeable, also ignorance.

Religious understanding, mastery of knowledge, accumulated experience and achievements are often ignorant of life we do not immediately realize how far to open the mind (the open mind). But, according to Einstein's personal experiences, which most often makes people become stupid (closed mind) it is ignorance. Moreover, if ignorance was coupled with "stubborn" (stubbornness). Perfected in situ.

Thirdly, an imbalance in the put locus of control. So life is balanced, meaning that we should not over and not feel inferior, we are commanded to put the control center in two places. The first one, we are commanded to put it in ourselves. Make yourself as the main control center. The second, plug the controller also outside (make another person as a mirror to fix myself).

If this is not balanced, vanity very often emerged. For example, we looked into more intensive and more ignoring others. This often makes us like frogs in a shell. We feel great myself, feel is everything. We can also actually feel the opposite. We're keeping an unjustified keminderan.

Conversely, if we are more intensive look out and ignore the need to look into, even this once. Frequency of looking out could potentially make us lose the footing, have less self-knowledge that is more accurate, and others. The loss of this ground-potential rise to the disorder. Some form ya pride. Even this more often give birth very unreasonable conceit.

Fourth, the maturity of life. The less mature we are, the more often it appears arrogance. What kind of maturity is life? If you listen to his advice Tao, that maturity is the fruit of a person diving or purport to reality. This is exactly the same advice in our tradition. The man often described as rice. More and contain him, he's getting to the bottom. It digests more and more people (not just experiencing) the various realities of life, the deeper "understanding" it.

Many religious advice which recommends that we look at reality with a variety of colors. For example we are commanded to visit the sick, help the person being trouble, attending funerals, and others. It all really is an instrument to be more "down" into reality. In addition given the variety of instruments, we were given a universal instinct, for instance, everyone was (in essence) are afraid of death, although death is a certainty. Everyone is worried about the disaster, although it sometimes can not be (difficult) avoided. These are all forms of alamiyah instruments we can use to turn off virus arrogance.

Fifth, hedonism. In practice, this hedonism is often understood as a teaching / doctrine of happiness and life menempatakan kesenangsenangan as a single destination. Actually this is not what makes hedonism is viewed less positively. Then what? Hedonism menempatakan material or luxury materials as the sole source of happiness and kesenangsenangan. Hedonism mengenyampingan spirituality. The strength of spirituality that aside this is the major source of negativity, including one of them is pride.

If it is returned to the religion, hedonism is viewed as a gap that allows demons (negative energy) into our souls. Once Satan has entered the soul, then what will be done is lit the fire of hostility (inner or birth), unfair competition, or the comparison of scholastic achievement irrespective of the roots of consciousness to improve themselves (the race to collect treasure and wealth and " flaunt it ").

Therefore, civilization teaches us to turn to spirituality. Spirituality is not anti-wealth and luxury. Spirituality is an awareness here who question: "what is the fundamental reason of our actions, what the purpose, how to make our lives more meaningful more for themselves and others?". This is so that we remain in a state step control.

Learning Process

There are at least two facts that could explain the pride in man. The first, not everyone likes to see pride in others. The second, no one can accept with sincere pride when corrected others. Therefore, the most effective solution is a correction of the self. How? Part of the process that we can do is:

First, always creating a positive comparison. This means that we see others as beings who have excess material and have something that we can make to improve yourself, anyone else's. If we see someone who is above us and we'll try to find the material self-improvement, then kearoganan be controlled. Likewise if you see an equivalent or below. So the point is to bring confidence and perspective that everyone else we see that there are certain sides become excess and that we can make the material self-improvement.

Second, direct correction. Sometimes we come up speech, behavior, and properties containing new pride and we realize that after the happening or when we meditate. Tindakn wise we need to do is correct what we have done so this never happens again and formulate speech format, behaviors, or attributes much of the content of arrogance.

Third, the growing impetus for the process of learning (learning to live). According to theories of learning, there are three essential principles that must be executed so that we do that process, namely:

- Open mind (open mind): add insight, consider the opinions of others, eliminating the passion "felt it was most true self", etc.

- Raises the urge to change into a better direction continuously. Once we've felt he had reached the summit and all the peaks, it is usually easy Satan tempts us to become arrogant

- Improve themselves based on what we've done, whether wrong or right, whether good or bad, and so on.

This learning process will in turn we comprehend the reality of real life.

Fourth, learn to live simply. Simple here does not mean poor or pretending poor. Is a simple proportional moderation. Put simply rich people are avoiding kefoya-foyaan or superfluous for the things that small benefit. Meanwhile, people who simply have not / did not avoid the appearance of wealth is the desire to gain wealth by their own miserable self. This is so that we do not fall into the trap of hedonism.

Fifth, learn to choose an expression, attitude and decisions come from careful humility (humble). The trick? Of course, all kinds. For instance: to see how other people, read books, to correct ourselves in the past, and others. Why is this important? In practice there is always a paradox of Law who worked in this world. That law stipulated that when we are humble, instead of feedback that emerged was the opposite. Conversely, once we snobby (arrogant), feedback also appears opposite.

Overcoming Resistance in Organizations

2010-07-28T00:20:00.001-07:00

In the paradox of the Organization

There is a paradox behind our common nature as human beings. We all desire change for the better. Desire and hope is what continues to push us to do something or is also giving rise to dissatisfaction with the current situation. Then where paradoknya? If we refer to the practice in the organization, though all the people longing for new changes, but human beings generally are resistant to making changes.

Moreover, if the wind change was exhaled from the forces outside of himself. For example, management, supervisor, team or organization. Therefore, many of which concluded that human nature is resistant to change. Paradox, right? Crave change but resistance to change, let alone invited to change. The Nature of the paradox is that not infrequently make the organization must make the extra effort (thoughts, time and funds) to make changes.

The problem is, even this may not work. Many companies that the issues concerning the changes should die in the middle of the road and back to the old format because running out of energy and cost to overcome the resistance of its people. Sample size is reform in the organization of Indonesia. First, all people crave the reform. But, when the reform agenda must be implemented, are generally resistant. Each side says that the other party must reform it. Reformation is to Them, not to us.

Why this paradox and resistance arise? Many causes, of course. When observing the practice in the field, its causes, among others:

* Fear
* Do not know
* Feeling unable / inferior (feeling incompetent)
* Too selfish / self group
* No clear reasons for and the steps
* Not included participation in decision making
* And others

The causes of this could still be regarded as the general causes inherent in the person as a social creature. That means there's more reasons related to individual creatures. An example is the motivation to move forward. The stronger motivations for someone to go, the more open him to change into a better direction. Even this motivation is still associated more with other personal issues. For example, if he has a positive mental attitude or negative. The more positive mental attitude, the better the motivations. And so on and so forth.

"Change is no guarantee of repair,
but all improvement begins from the changes. "

Stages In Organizational change
Therefore, there is resistance caused by a number of factors, so in theory emerging management literature that teaches us about the stages we need to do before, during, and after rolling the change issue. What are the essential stages that we need to go?

First, recognition or awareness of the need for change. Whether individual or organization, the reason for the change that must be found as hard, something relevant, and accurate as possible. The most often successful is to make trouble or dissatisfaction as an excuse. According to Kurt Lewin (1951), the change should start from the "why". Hence, he formulated the following steps:

1. Unfreezing: the awareness of the need to change or there is an urgent need for change

2. Changing: programs and actions for change

3. Refreezing: establishing a new change in format

This means that we can make significant drop in revenue, topsy-balaunya operation, or the threat of new products as the reason for the change in the other direction. This is called reverse the misfortune to be wise. Without incident, perhaps we are reluctant to change.

Second, membangkitan motivation. If you want to wear a standard size, which is necessary to find motivation for change is "what is in it for me?", What's in it for me? Therefore, according to his theory Beckhard & Haris (1987), provided the changes are:

* There should be a benefit or advantage that would be obtained if the more successful changes
* Must be led to the perception of a better tomorrow
* There should be steps to make all / most people conclude that it can be done (practical guide)

The motivation here acts like fuel for vehicles. According to his theory, fuel consumption is greatest when going to the street or going to fly. Same also with the changes. Motivation is needed at the time of the change agenda to run. In addition to the touch needed techniques, such as regulations, required also a touch of emotional, spiritual, material, and others.

Third, develop keahilan, open learning process with the risk of errors, or open a faucet the entry of new knowledge. If the organization simply proclaiming a change but not equip the knowledge and skills needed to change, is likely to fail or slow.

Research reveals that as many as 40% failure caused by a change in employee's inability to perform the execution of the strategy changes that have been specified. As many as 35% failure caused by the unpreparedness of change is more change than the actors change. Only 17% failure of the changes caused by faulty preparation of the strategy (McKinsey & Co., Berger, 1994).

Fourth, the old culture to accommodate the new culture more conducive to change. Why should wear the way of accommodation? From experience in the field, if we want to change habits or culture by turning directly, this is very difficult. Would be easier if we run hand in hand with the new. Accommodation means that rather than banning the old culture, but with a new filling. In this way, the old culture that wants in is omitted, will gradually go away.

How to accommodate it? When referring to the various concepts of building a corporate culture, organizational culture is derived from the three forces below:

* The values adopted for life, forms certain beliefs and assumptions of the founders of the organization.
* Lessons from the experiences of people in the organization in accordance with the dynamics
* New values, new beliefs, and assumptions that brought the new-entry by new groups or new leaders into the organization

In other words, if we want to suppress the old culture, then we must bring new values, new beliefs, experiences and new pengatahuan, some new people, new paradigms, new situations, and so on. New things that can be streamed down through a few lines below:

* Blonde (Symbols): The logo, uniforms, technology products used, or other external attributes.
* Imitation (Imitation): mindset, assumptions, patterns of attitudes, beliefs, behaviors or habits that resulted from the duplication of the seniors or their predecessors
* Eksperiensi (Experience): experience in dealing with problems or experience in realizing the idea
* Education (Education): training, seminars, learning (learning), regulations, work systems, work norms, story-telling, on-job coaching, the teaching, etc..

Fifth, improvement rewards (performance-based compensation). These rewards should we interpret the material rewards and non-material, in accordance with their respective circumstances. Reward improvements this is the major evidence that all parties can enjoy the fruits of change. If it until people in the organization had no reason to conclude that change and did not change at all its rewards, it will be difficult. It is not probably going to turn into a negative direction.

Last is the control and streamlining of the various irregularities that potentially thwart the change. Borrowing the theory of religion, in addition to need an invitation to change into a better direction (amr ma'ruf), also needed to prevent the deviation (nahyul munkar). The second is usually effectively done by people who have power and legitimacy.
"All progress requires change.
Any change requires courage to face risks
of you already know to who yet you know. "
(George Shin)

Several Kick Overcoming Resistance
Although the above steps we have already run in such a way, does not mean that the resistance was over. Resistance will still be there. In the field, this resistance can we classify into three:

* Resistance objective, reasonable, sensible, and it was stated
* Subjective-passive resistance, it is unclear why an organization, personal and quietly
* Resistesi subjective-active, it is unclear why an organization, person, against the blatant

For an objective resistance, much less openly declared, and its purpose is also clear in the organization, of handling more clearly. The difficult part is overcoming resistance is subjective, whether passive or active. Well, a few moments below there are probably efficacious if we practice:

1. Get support from people who are powerful or influential group of people who are resistant or can go into them. This could be from internal sources (people in) or also from outsiders who are already familiar with several people inside. What this does not actually build the hostility? This is just a tool and because it depends on how the appliance is used.
2. Frequently invite people from outside to provide new insights about the importance of change, whether it's a motivator, speaker, or anyone else. As long as they have the capacity to inspire and motivate change, it was OK.
3. It should also raise a coalition that supports the change to reduce the number of people who are resistant. Can be done with the mutation, rolling, forming a new working group, and so on
4. Facilitating change in attitude as far as it can be done, it makes sense and does not provoke jealousy of others. This can be done if the reasons and motives resistance reasonable, objective, and for the good of the people
5. Blended threats and rewards as a strategy to foster participation. If only the threat of it, the resistance can still be done "discreetly". But if it only benefits alone, this can lead to jealousy and a sense of injustice
6th. Showed evidence of progress or achievement gained from the changes to open the consciousness of people who are resistant
7. Implementing Performance Management (reward management) so that there are clear differences in terms of reward between good performers and those whose performance was not good. If until the people who support it get the same reward to people who are resistant, this will certainly hamper.
8. Using a variety of appropriate ways to communicate. For people who do not understand, use a clear-cut explanation (clear understanding). For senior people, use the call-is smooth. For people who influence, use language that glorifies. For a lot of people and different schools (eg in meetings), use language that is easily understood.
9. Using coercion that have been agreed upon within the organization, such as warnings, pemutasian, decrease, up to dismissal.

In the tradition has been handed down in this world, the organization is always a winner when the size is a lose-win. But, because they concern the resistance and that participation is a human soul, it's time we look at it from the other side. Hopefully useful.

"Others Can you temporarily stop only if you Can Strive for it consistenly"

Won - Lost In Relations

2010-07-28T00:08:00.000-07:00

Lock It Self Victory

The term of this lose-win very often we come up with in the practice of relationship with others (Relationship). The relationship here could include the relationship in public areas (business partners, professional colleagues, lecturers, etc.) and relationships in private areas (husband and wife, family, friends, etc.). The form can also be material and non material, may be in the results or in the form of the process.

The urge to get that victory, if by Horney (Our Inner Conflict, 1945), including one human needs or include an innate instinct of everyone. According to him, human needs can be grouped into three:

1. Humans need to move toward others to get love, acceptance, compassion, respect, etc.
2. Humans need to move away from others to gain freedom, independence, peace, etc.
3. Humans need to move against another person to show strength, victory or excellence, etc.

However, his name is also innate. It is the innate potential. That potential raw material. Therefore, can be harmful and could be beneficial. It just depends what the potential was processed or "educated". Someone I know, let's call her name A, realizes that her relationship with others that had been lost, although previously he had always thought that victory.

When I was young, he was feeling a temparemen A high and a perfectionist. With blood in his youth, he always had a standard that others who need to understand who he is. Coupled with his high skill mastery, it was perfect standard to be applied. Few found irregularities in others, directly out ultimatums. This made him frequently changing business partners, and also moved a lot of work.

Over time, he apparently changed his mind. In conclusion, a victory that he had glorified, it is less able to provide quality long-lasting relationships. The urge to always have to win it even led to the defeat in the future. The form, among others: the relation is not much, the relation is only temporary, lack of loyal supporters, and so on.

From a number of similar cases that often we meet, it is always relative and victory is relative, as far as we understand it as a synonym for the defeat of others. Why? Besides often driven by passion, victory by beating the other person will create resistance. This is because no human being who want to be defeated. Therefore, kesatriaan doctrine teaches that until we have to win against any other person, should not make others fall in prices.

So the victory was not relative and not relative, wisdom teachings in this world invites us to understand the victory was not like that. The victory was not to be understood as a synonym for the defeat of others, especially in the practice of everyday relationships, but the victory over self. Victory over self is the form that we achieve victory by mastering an innate instinct to win so do not make us lose, eventually.

"The more people who managed to beat us,
often only made us increasingly weak position "

Some features Self Victory
The man who won over him was not a figure who has never advanced to compete in a lose-win relationship. The man who won over him was not a very good figure, so too will be victimized by others. The man who won over him was not a man who never mad at anyone else.

Need we recall that the victory itself that there is at the level of interpersonal relationships between us and ourselves. That there are others who opened the door of lose-win contest, there are other people who harm and benefit, there are others that need to be respected or reprimanded, that's all there at the level of interpersonal relations between us and others.

In essence, people who triumphed over him was still doing the things that human life or still face realiatas consequences arising from relationships with others. Only difference is:

* First, the victory over himself is concentrating on efforts to fight for the vision, realize its goal of short-term or long term, or in order to actualize the potential for achievement. For example, we face the battle of office politics has reached another level dropped. As far as we are still able to concentrate minds and act on the vision, goals, and the actualization, then we have achieved victory.

* Second, the victory over self that maintain the values of truth, goodness, and kemanfaatannya was not debated anymore because it was absolute. In some cases, this requires sacrifices and often looks like a defeat. Therefore, in religion, if we even bad luck with maintaining the value, it's not unfortunate, but the exam (bala '). This exam is the moment to test whether we will commit and wait for our initiative, or only half-measures. Often there are people who have a clean hard to find a job after resign or repent of a dirty old job. If this person loses his senses, he will easily return to a dirty old job. But if he wins, he will successfully pass the exam. Because there are often a test and this defeat, so the Lord cautioned not to defend someone who was fooled by the reality of the value of a temporary and superficial.

* Third, the victory over self-aligning self-interest, personal subjectivity, or the selfishness of personal desires to the values, teachings, or common sense. So, we come first before the interests of value. Everyone must have a personal interest because there gunanaya even this. The difference is, there are subordinated to the values, teachings, or common sense and some ignore it all. Proof of submission is not at all be measured by our statement in front of others, in the place of meeting, or in front of the press, but from the evidence that we do for ourselves. To borrow the phrase Covey, submission of evidence that could distinguish whether the submission is on the "What" (what is the right) or on the "Who" (personal or agency). If we've succeeded tuduk reflect on "what" (the value of truth that is no longer debatable), it means we're getting a good victory.

* Fourth, the victory over self in ways that avoid harm or harm, either for themselves or others. If we lose the engagement, motivation, and improvement ideas in the office because of seeing injustice, although it humanely, but we've lost his life by ourselves. Properly, while still trying to resolve injustice, then we keep doing positive things for ourselves, minimum. Victory over self that actually is not an end but a process that we must travel in order to achieve the goal. The goal is to uphold the vision, maintaining the value, or self-development. That is, if the process of reaching this goal halted because of irregularities and violations of other people, it means that the goal of victory itself was not achieved.

* Fifth, it took the victory over self and pulled out. We will win if successful draw lessons from whatever happens to us for processing a benefit or profit can we remove from ourselves. In this way means that improvements will continue to appear for improvement.

A lot of evidence that shows that self-victory had positive effects not only on the territory intrapersonal relationships, but also on the domain of interpersonal relations. The positive effects that can appear either in order to encourage or face other people as opponents. For example we would like to invite the couple we (husband and wife) to celebrate the birthday of the child at home. If we come up with is personal taste, all the more personal egoism, will usually meet with resistance or bring a sense of counterculture.

But if we come up with it is partisanship on the values of simplicity, benefit, or any value, it is usually better accepted and relatively smaller potential for the emergence of a sense of counterculture. Of course, should be supported with good ways of communicating that partisanship. Even if this stance has become a culture of life, usually it will be understood as charisma. Charisma will appear comparable with our alignments.

According to Terry Orlick (The Wheel of Excellence, 2004), an expert on sports psychology, self-victory that will determine the fate of an athlete in the ring. Not all athletes who beat rival opponent will be the winner. Could be a victory when it will be the beginning of defeat. Likewise, not all athletes who were defeated in the ring it will be defeated forever. Could be a defeat when it is the road to victory.

These dynamics will be determined by the victory itself. Athletes who lose in the ring, but continue to learn from defeat, still practicing, while maintaining the values, or still have a positive attitude, will surely win eventually, either in any form. But the athletes who win in the ring, however, the lazy practice, ignoring the value, more press coverage than concentrating on training, he will lose later.

"Before you become a warrior, you must be a winner"
(Doctrine of the Samurai)

Relationship Dynamics
In daily practice, the dynamic of human relationships. The dynamics of this relationship when referring to the thoughts Tom Jaap (Enabling Leadership, Achieving Result with People, 1989), can be explained as follows:

1. Concession (Concession). We realized the need to succumb to make other people feel about winning or feel happy (a lose-win), either in the form of attitude or results.
2. Compromise (compromise). We invite others to be equally accept losses (a lose-lose), can be 50%: 50% and could be 40: 60, depending on circumstances.
3. Consensus (consensus). We are creating a win-win agreement, all parties felt to win, or nothing is harmed, minimum.
4. Coercion (Coercion). We lead others to be lost or to create a strategy that makes us more victory, either by force a hard or a soft-. Usually, this is often taken by a powerful person (the position above) or powerless (insecure or afraid)

Fourth on the dynamics that we could be there or there is a Condition as a strategy that makes us conditioned by certain external factors. Supported by a victory that far away, as we have seen its characters in advance, so there are only three possibilities:

* We will both win,
* If we lose, the defeat was not total or is not lost forever, and
* If we win, the victory was not to make others fall in prices themselves.

"The defeat was temporary in nature,
but it would last forever if we lose by ourselves. "

Behind the daring deeds

2010-07-27T23:53:00.001-07:00

Between reckless & Determination Nowadays we often hear that the level of violence is really fantastic. Not sure if it was indeed an increasing quantity and intensity, or indeed because of the increasingly genjar pemberitaannya. What is clear, the violence just seemed closer to our lives.

We hear there's a mother who smothered her three children one by one. All three died. This happened in Bandung. In Malang, so that happened. In Central Java, there is a subordinate, the police, shot dead his boss and fired him. In Central Java, there is a young cop who brought a grenade which exploded in his office ready. This young police do not want the case to a court appointed personal. Still many others, and others.

Does a mother can kill her child could be said to have lost maternal instincts? Does a policeman who killed his boss and killed him it was no longer the same love of her life, the same family and same career? From the evidence is still alive, the answer is not black and white. This is the mystery man. Said the researchers, the biggest mystery in the world is a space between your ears. Space that is our brain.

Mothers who kill their children still have a sense of affection. Where there's a mother who lost her affection? In fact, the news said, the mother who killed her son was actually triggered by a sense of affection. The mother did not want their children to later life difficult as he was. So unfortunately it with the child, he finally took such action. Then, why in that way? It also includes a mystery.

Well, sometimes, so hard we refer to such actions, we call it desperate deeds. One of the most prominent feature is the appearance of paradox between before and after. Before the act took place, usually in question have a strong will to act occurred. But after going, there was regret why the action occurred. Unfortunately, regret is always late.

When referring to the Great Dictionary of Indonesian Language, was either reckless or determination was referring to the same source. Source it is willpower. The difference is that one does not focus, or simply based on impulse and is often not rational, and the other was directed, or based on values, vision, goals and objectives.

According to the dictionary, is desperate pertinacity which is based on the indifference to anything (since the end of hope, lost my mind, the shame that is high enough, and so on). While determination is a will / will of the plan or resolution. People who ignore the rules of the truth of his actions, common sense, or we call norms of desperate people. Conversely, people who act on target for sure we call people who have a high determination.

In practice, a reckless act that could occur in different levels / scales and patterns. There are still in low levels or only harming yourself, or others are already harming people. There is an instantaneous reaction occurs because, by default, make mistakes or go crazy, but there are also planned outside the awareness of right and wrong him, by design, as in the case of two mothers at the top.

Despite the existence of levels and patterns, almost all the desperate deeds that left regrets or guilt of the perpetrator. An employee who immediately wanted to resign when his superior reprimanded, can sometimes be sorry too. This usually occurs when the actions he did as a momentary reaction has not been considered on the merits in the future for himself.

Self Control Capability For those of you who feel often do things outside the control of action and it really hurt, then you have to do is to correct your ability in self-control. In the theory of competence, a person's ability to control themselves, including the key (key skills). In a number of service companies that deal directly to the public (customer), this ability is the pillars of the profession. Someone will be dismissed if he did that hurt her reckless actions, other people and organizations.

If you read the explanation Spencer (Competence at Work, Models for Superior Performance, 1993), self-control is the ability to manage emotions in order to remain under-control and his ability to refrain from acts of brutality when there is a trigger, there is opposition, or are in the condition suspenseful (stressful condition). People who have such capabilities, it is usually still able to use common sense (do not go crazy or not frantic), still can bring a positive perspective and stay calm (stable).

Now, to find out how far your ability to control yourself, below which no explanation can we make such a reference to self-correct.

§ You are easy to lose control, easily frustrated, easily wreak emotional expression exploded, or ineffective in carrying out activities because of uncontrolled emotion (scale: 0)

§ You would prefer to avoid stress or prefer to avoid the things that potentially cause inconvenience rather than fight the desire or achievement. You prefer a quiet but safe rather than forward but it took the struggle (scale: -1)

§ You are resistant to various pressures or temptations (scale: 1)

§ You can control your emotions but not yet able to use it constructively (scale: 2)

§ You are able to respond calmly and discuss them fair (scale: 3)

§ You can manage stress effectively, does not affect the results of the work or do not affect the process jobs (scale: 4)

§ You can respond constructively: to build a more positive and anticipate problems (scale: 5)

§ You have to calm yourself and other people or be able to play a role as a leader (scale: 6)

In addition to using the explanation above, we can measure it by looking at how we are in addressing the things that you do not want. About This way, there are so-called

§ Reactive

§ Proactive.

Surely we are already familiar with two terms above, even more so if we love to read his book Stephen Covey, Seven Habits that. Reactive person is a person whose actions more often based on the impulse-moment or dependent on external stimuli (without the process of thinking or consciousness vote). Because we insulted the A, then we reply to humiliate him. Because our bosses scolded, we responded with anger also. Because we are a small salary so we steal, and so on.

While a proactive person is someone who has made his decision or action thought process, based on the true values (what is true, what is good and what is useful). Those highly reactive potentially reckless act that causes penyelesan. Conversely, highly proactive person who gave birth to resolve potential-positive determination to achieve positive goals. Therefore, still according to Covey, one of the cornerstones of effective habits of life is learning to be proactive.

According to the theory of logic (Manthiq), there are nine models a potentially wrong decision. One is when we are reactive. The nine are:

§ The decision directly to the conclusion that black and white, wrong is right; immediately make judgments, accusatory and semisalnya.

§ The decision is based on the fact that shallow.

§ The decision is based on the influence from the outside alone or only part of it.

§ The decision is based on bigotry in the opinion of a person, without reasonable consideration.

§ The decision is based on the influence of ancestral traditions.

§ The decision is based on instantaneous outbursts (reactive) and the lust for a moment.

§ The decision is based on the desire "Different Origin", "Origin of Non Si Anu", the negative competition, and semisalnya.

§ The decision is based on things that are purely external.

§ The decision is based on misconceptions.

Those are some references that we can make the kind of guidelines to measure whether we are reactive or not, whether we are more often (potentially) or reckless action "determined action".

How Emotion Coaching? Of course there are many ways that we can do to train the emotion. Below are just some of many that we can do. It's the most important point here is not about how, but rather on his way. Some ways that include:

First, learn to create both a positive emotion or constructive (good cause). If we suddenly heard someone say something about us and it was negative, we must have annoyed dong. If we are betrayed by someone, it is fair we are disappointed. When we scolded people, indeed most of us angry, too. If we are in a stressful situation, of course, we also stress.

Well, annoyance, disappointment, anger or stress in conditions as above, it is called emotional first. That first outbursts usually have not had time to think about. And again, this is usually difficult to avoid. Is this one of the first emotion? Not necessarily as well. During the fair, proportionate and do not harm, bisalah was practically human. Sometimes dangerous is when too far or more than fair.

In order not to much too far, do not allow the emergence of a second, more negative emotions, exaggerate or even aggravate the problem. We need to learn to come up with a second, more positive emotion or a more controlled to reduce or anticipate the first emotion. Can be imagined, if we develop the first cell negative emotions, the little problems become big. There are 'used to be the man who killed his neighbor because the goat and cassava leaves?

So, angry, annoyed, disappointed, and semisalnya it may be difficult to avoid when we suddenly get something undesirable. But, lest we even let him increasingly angry, increasingly irritated, the more disappointed we are continuing to make dark. Kontrollah, rimlah and munculkanlah both positive emotions. If any indirect positive for other people, minimum is positive for our own.

Second, do the fasting or certain other rutinas that could improve the ability to control themselves. All religions and all spiritual teachings in this world include fasting as a basic or essential curriculum. Even including the health sciences. On the physical level, fasting is yes refrain from eating or drinking within a specified time with the intention of self-improvement, self or religious approach. Of course these terms so long as the physical condition of our support.

But, so fast we had a better effect, it was commanded not only the physical fasting. Physical fasting could be called skin. Fasting is commanded fasting spiritually and materially. Inner Fasting is refraining from a variety of adverse negative encouragement to ourselves, others or the environment, both in the short term or long term.

Third, follow a variety of activities involving many people and requires high energy. This example just came to the club in accordance with our favorite sports, social volunteer, entered the work team, and others. Why is this important? Our emotions are more educated in line with the maturity level. To achieve a higher level of maturity is needed processes. One process is our willingness to improve themselves from a variety of friction, conflict, consensus, cooperation or association with others.

Fourth, increase awareness in others, particularly those close ties with us. It's like children, wives, husbands, parents, suadara, friends, and others. Why is this important? From the various cases, reckless action that did not happen spontaneously and do not stand alone. There are already certain habits that support ever. Some of these are, for example, closed (introverts), less care (selfish), less social (anti-social), lack of empathy, and others.

Logically, if we want to launch a desperate act, but then we remember the parents, children, wives or husbands, remember sin, etc., what likely would happen? Chances are we will not think twice or so. Remember the positive things and mempositifkan we, therefore, becomes important. Because of that, either religion or science, forbidding the use of harmful substances which eliminates the common sense or memory. Already many desperate acts performed by a person when drunk.

Fifth, grow stronger awareness. That is like what? Stronger awareness is when we realize that our only and only from our emotions improvements would occur. So, lift your self as a leader or a controller. Why? If we always rely on the state or anyone else, surely there will always be people who support the state or to act reckless. Therefore, we can drive themselves to us. You are the law of yourself. Hopefully useful.

definitions of success

2010-07-26T07:42:00.000-07:00

The biggest failure is when
we never tried

Fear of failure is not an excuse
not to try something

The road to SUCCESS is always full of holes and always should be repaired

Success is based on imagination, coupled with ambition and a willingness

Success is the achievement of goals or ideas gradually

science and reason

2010-07-16T12:10:00.000-07:00

Person's self-revealing prices

Only a fool and the fool who belittle science and expert

Someone who study one chapter from a science better than the world and its contents

Science is a friend of a friend in time alone and lonely time.

Science is the best clue.

Science is the most important clue.

Science is to save you, it is folly membinasakanmu.

Science is better than wealth. Studies that take care of you,

While your property must have a guard.

Every thing was reduced if dikasikan others unless science, science will increase if you share with

other people

Science is very fine, besides it is easy and simple,

Dodged in tough times (part 2)

2010-07-16T12:07:00.000-07:00

i. Adding source feed

"if that work just imagine, sure hard. If wanted, sure a lot.
But, if treated and thought, usually a little easier and more. "

before really up, almost sure everyone is slow or fast, now or later, government will raise fuel prices. Even if that party is protests, but usually have government ultimate weapon. "this is the last choice." some say, what the president and staff expert pak was not tired or not shy repeat the words every time raise fuel? Some members of the board of certain fraction again even more spicy commentary.

But, as we know, things such ordinary occurrence. In the end, according to the already-it's habit, and equipment are increased fuel. And when that fuel raised the eve and after, be sure to increase rates hindered goods that we use daily. If this is, will be affecting bag everyone on the individual level.

If mix pareto theory, may only 20% of people this state that does not increase affected by the itu. The remaining 80% screaming. More-more like if that concerns the analysis of economic events (may not happen). Those words, if the world oil price trends through to figures eur. 150 per barrel, from which now usd. 120, then we will be there in the great social tsunami. Now this is just a lot of factory because not strong shuttered breathing. According to koran news, layoffs will continue to grow waves if so the government will raise fuel prices.

What can we do as an individual? As we have discussed in part one, not even the many things we can do for improving external macro states (national), but in fact still a lot that we can do for improving personal situation-micro (private). Sure did not hand rolled as easy, but the principle personal solution that will there.

By reference standards and the most we can do that, the solution that we can source breakthrough is to increase revenues and reduce expenses (increasing in reducing income and outcome). By conceptual, feed source that can be added by our ways below:

doing what halal
even if it's not the ideal choice, but too many people as taken some solutions. Do not want to be a little graduate or personal driver taxi driver. Their principles, origin halal, why not? "than we are not erratic idle, while we also need prices, and already apply everywhere calls but would not come, we take yaaa aja"

there are also an employee in jakarta multinational enterprises have that additional business. While work, she also for a particular marketing work environment. Do this for life cover the cost of ter-cover is not anymore by salary. "what not shy? Whether action is ethical?" her words, this is how someone putting himself up.

Again that there must be real for taking decisions in the company or contract workers in factories. Have never even been years of experience working in the various companies, but because the jobless, yes finally received any contract employees. More-more than reason jobless and find work contract system that does not use that already imagine the difficulty.

That's some examples of what can we take spirits. In essence, adding feed source that can do with the way in which offered to receive the work we are near or work with our (although not ideal). Many sources applies to those who add revenue by doing business side capital does not need high, or distributors be like marketer.

We must do admit that carry out the work to add a source of income in practice is not stop that in important matters that halal. Inside every self matters human dignity alone there, status symbol, courage, experience, shame, and others. To overcome this, there are some things to remember, among others:

concluded that do not what you do as the terminal end of current or final chance. Understand this reality as temporary or short-term solution, or also as a mediator purpose. Because of that, we need to have a great purpose or main objectives our passions. Keep in mind and fight for cita-cita what in your career.

* fight used to work or the relevant trade status with you, like writing, translate, teaching, dst.
* running or business that work outside the ideal / desire, but while fighting for relevant.
* do not forget to add skills, knowledge, or information about the work and improving how to think. We can do this practice of direct and reading materials (books, articles, koran, dst). If only we are focusing on the money alone, usually we can only survive. But if we focus on money and knowledge, more will outcome.

For business or discovered that additional work, do need to sample many, many references need, and to many initiatives. According bandura, adult learning resources that have two important, namely: observing their own actions (wrong-right-benefit, success-failure, dst) and observing the behavior others. "if si anu can, why can not my?" "how can so like her, yes?"
"that we are now not as important as where step with this than we will move."

increasing productivity work
add a source of income can be done by enhancing productivity. Ability to produce productivity means something. This might suit size we are dealing with quantity of work is calculated from which we produce. Some ways that we can travel, among others:

1. Improving method or tehnik.
2. Adding time or energy
3. Adopt the use or technology new technology systems are already there

is identical to the its hard work (hard work). The options are, if we are not able to work smart (word people, that are working smart job it was a little, but outcome lot), ya we need to work hard, work more for more results that reached.

Remember that we need to increase productivity problem that is not merely okol (labor) and time. Productivity linked with very practice in using our thoughts and feelings. Thought for finding use various ways, tehnik, or the idea (creative). Do not overload yourself with various negative feelings. Replace or stop by the positive.

If you have power and have time, but your mind to see more often tergunakan the dark side of the world or just tergunakan to come up with a deadly opinion, of course you can not productive. Also once if you let it appears that does not support the blasting emotion, such sad, passion low, upset, and so on. Just for sharing experiences, not write that labor problems, time, and problems of knowledge nor alone. Equally important then how are we using the mind and feelings to design a text.

"many things that we can not do with good
just because we have a feeling that was not good "

improving the quality of work
supplements income by increasing also can do quality work. This is the most ideal. Just, the ideal that can be done only through the process of training and learning. Can work for smart, general himself in person train hard work first. Rarely there are applying directly to work smart system that has no experience working hard.

If context, is to add a source of income, then improving the quality of work that can repair system approached from marketing, business or occupation to choose which called by management theory of high-pay-off area (which there will pay high), and others. Equipment required course creativity, innovation, and networks.

Nah, that's part of what can we stance so vote for stratagems. Of course we have other ideas that much more to create a great source of existing feed discussed above. What if we do not have all the same good idea? Suggested edison, terms to have good ideas that are as much may come up with ideas. That's a lot of ideas that then we have a chance for which selecting relevant and where are not, and where that which can not run, where the need high prices and where that need a little prices.

"most people have no ability of ideas for the switch in focus less because giant using the resources or less there is focus in particular master."
(anthony robbins)

ii. Reduce expenditure

by conceptual, dodged that can not for just think enough to add source of income. Equally important is to adjust expenditure or reduce waste. We can do this with actually various ways and we already know entirely, just like:

distinguish between needs and wants or which distinguishing between urgent (primer-urge, like credit card or pay the debt), main (important and urgent), important (but need not urge) and waste (not urgent, no major, and not important ). In theory, we all know this already, but in practice, is often we forget.

Lifestyle adjustment does, just like the use of cellular, tote sophisticated equipment technology, control the use credit cards, and others. This course each have their own size based circumstances. Philosophies, the technology equipment all that prices created to streamline, to facilitate life, or to increase profit. If this does not happen, there may mean waste.

Set financial, for example by saving. Basically, the saving habit this much money is not problem or have a little money. Words an advertising, that is the problem paradigm saving life, self-control, or how to think. Many people think that there will be after saving money from the rest of monthly or daily needs, and who-money is scarce left. So how? Self-control. If not be able to control, is to force other ways with self-bought or delivered goods management expert to more people.

And still a lot more that we can do. Been said, including this nation that we extravagant: spendthrift in thinking and action, boros energy use in the not renewable (fuel like, electricity, and others), and wasteful spending wealth in. Often because we see that many people are not rich simple, so too many poor people are not simple. Put simply avoid the rich are spree. Put simply, while avoiding the poor are begging.

Dodged in tough times (part 1)

2010-07-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

i. Anticipation two matters

Actually, according to the taught wisdom of our fathers, we need that in anticipation of this life (at least most important) there are two. First, we need to anticipate the coming of replies bad deeds of the individual or as we as a group. Why should be anticipated? Yes. We all know if it's true deeds that bad bad will bring retaliation. Logically, we may not yet marijuana planting rice that which grows.

Cause effect logic, action - is often ignored consequences we do not think so or anticipate the arrival of replies bad that when and how shape. Most people assume that bad consequences of action that will be bad brought in later after we die. We "punished" by the angel whose responsibility is to punish and not to know that there are others. No more bad deeds who argue that it later sins deleted with too can repent and crying in places worship or "run" to religion. God 'kan forgiving.

Frequently happen by living in practice, gets the assumption in the disclaimer of reality often. Consequences of bad deeds it comes unexpected, unpredictable shapes not, and that rather than later in the afterlife. And how often would not his unexpected. When someone to start using drugs syringes, then she also may not think that is the threat also could spread hiv to his wife or his son any threat or death, serious threat for intelligence, and others.

When we used to still tolerant and enjoy cultures bribery, then we may not think that when cultures someday lead to an uncontrollable crisis like this now. All improvement initiative menthok hindered by mentality cultures built from bribery. By einstein musings, due to bad deeds of anything that can scarce capacity solved using like to think the same time we start to do it. Due to bad that more can be wild (wild).

Second, we need to anticipate the arrival changes are outside the poor control. For example is oil and food price changes in world market prices for high life, at least opportunity to get additional income, employment opportunities reduced, soaring crime rate, unemployment is soaring, and other onwards. The severity of the crush was so hard explain this time, there are now-now to tell you that these are not the most good looking for work or business. He said, that is the most good looking for loan or debt. All goods from start electronic, automotive to property, for sale by credit. Now this anything credited.

Nothing else to say more ridiculous. Create if business, trade with selling bikinlah falsehood and fantasy. Must sell. Like, bikinlah prizes sms, sms forecasts luck, sms guess words with gift house, car or cash money many millions. According to the koran investigative reports, turn enthusiasts fantasies products that are the youth of total or semi jobless unemployment, worker or non-formal level down, children not yet baligh, or housewife. At the expense of pulse around 2000 silver, whose value is not how now, they are getting the fantastic fantasies.

Back to bad the problem of changes in our natural right now, that changes are outside our control. Let alone we, the government are not promissory. How many times the president, vice president, or sudden inspection minister to do to reduce the market price, no outcome but how? The merchants complain low purchasing power. The buyer complaining about price hikes. The entrepreneurs complained low profit margin. The employee salary complained weakening received.

Past, like what anticipate? Tehniknya may we need our situation with customize. But, before that tehnik implemented, there must be the change in the head understanding. Understanding one of the fundamental changes that are necessary:

"even though we can not do that much for changing national circumstances, but we can still do a lot of changing circumstances for personal,
and that we can do it on our situation, right now. "

i. Things we need correction

correction of attitude
what is attitude? Attitude is how we express life choices. Attitude is how we create a self-posture (the inner and the birth) when dealing with matters, dealing with people, or dealing with reality. The situation in hard out there, that was the situation that hard. But, attitude to the situation that we are options. We can see that as a pressure situation which may not really exist or could see also solution as a challenge that must have the solution. Options that are not create a situation, but we.

By jung (1971), attitude is the capacity psychological readiness for action or someone how to react with certain specific to object. When we understand that behind the same situation that we will not find what can we do gap for treatment, then we will take the readiness is the readiness for lose. Otherwise, if we create understanding life is like the above, then we are readiness readiness to win or readiness for doing things positive.

So, what we need is a correction of attitude we have positive or negative attitudes. Are, whether positive or negative attitudes that, that our choice. Only, usually have a positive attitude consciously chosen and rational (based on the reasons for reason). More-more when we are in bad situation. So, your inner programlah to bring positive attitude to the situation of the poor.

Hard situations that we are living hard make. But, if we failed creating a positive attitude, then we are hard not just make situation. We would join our attitude with self complicate. Practice of life, the role of attitudes that show we determine that much more than the situation. Because of that, the motivator often reminds us: "what happens in you (what's in you) much more than what determines happen to you (what's on you)"

"there is scant everyone on differences, but that little difference is big enough to make the difference. Difference is that the attitude of some selected person. While difference that is great that whether positive or negative attitudes." (clement stone)

correction mentality
aspect mentality that we need is a correction to whom we rely chance of life? Aspects of this very important when dealing especially distress. If we are more often during this relying on others, whether it's personal, individual, group, organization, or countries, then this is the mentality needs to be corrected. During this so if we are also more often rely on the lord. Surrender our responsibility unto the lord with our lives how bad surrender to the fact. Even this needs to be corrected.

Past to whom we should need to rely on? We need to make that is the main andalan we are with all that we do business. Rely consciously here means we ourselves as a source pointed initiatives to overcome problems or for goals reached that we want. Just because not enough self-reliant, then we need to others and need god. So, rely on yourself but do need god and need someone else.

"there are living in this paradox. Usually, people like that good chance rely, instead often get chance bad. Otherwise, hard working people who rely, often getting better chance."

what is with this mean we rely academic refused resignation? Of course not all the same. Understanding by religion even if healthy, relied near here's more to the actual meaning resignation. Means are surrender resignation (mengkuasakan) affairs to god. But, resignation not be used here as a breakout (escapism), but as a business process of barrage: do something, landasi with faith, then resignation. Mental health will offer resignation.

So, by scientific, resignation context that have four, and everything back in business (rely). That is the fourth context:

* business to obtain benefits / gains,
* for defense business benefits / gains,
* business for removing hazards / problems, and
* to anticipate hazard / problem.

Means, not someone who can be called resignation choose to let problems or crush he faced. Not people who can not be called resignation raises initiative to do something for making what she wants. And on and on. So, our understanding of resignation in order correction we need any more with near reality.

Correction capability solve problems
everyone already have a problem and all people are creating the solution, but a different is where the extent that have the solution for treatment of treatment. Economic problems when we pressed, for example, stealing or selling drugs, that is the solution. Also making debt solutions. Harder work smarter or by adding improving the quality of business or business solution also.

Same-same even solutions name, but the resulting kindness will vary. One solution to problem even add gede more level. Solution to open second new problem with cook if not counted. Or we can not make solutions for the long term. Third is the solution solution solution that really.

Are all people already know that if a third solution will not easy. Free, easy or hard, actually solution that's third most feels lighter side and also the most good consequence. Experience of many people who have been successful third creating solutions, apparently they have a distinction. What i mean distinction here is the will and ability of their minds in switch (think).

Nah, linked with our desire to dodged in tough times, three is our ability to think on, namely:

* conceptual thinking ability: imagine accurately as possible what you can do for improving the situation, when your life from this location, with what was there, and can also do this now
* analytical thinking skills:-break broken shadows into your targets and plan your small-target-action or action on small that your abilities. Learn from experience yourself or others. Do not be tempted chasing the big easy but not real at the same time. Focus and desire to see opportunities, not seeing the problem and crush
* creative thinking skills: how to find as much possible in the field. Find the comparison of others, find a better tehnik for making that good or more more

hopefully useful and see you in the next section.

(to be continued part 2)

Between optimism and hope

2010-07-16T11:56:00.000-07:00

During this most people hope interpret and optimistic same as the two themes, or interchangeable. Part of that hope is longer consider optimistic part of or otherwise.

Be an optimist, pessimist do not, this would mean having hope optimistic person? Optimistic itself or means hope, or otherwise, that people have hope means optimistic?

Talk about optimists drag other one theme that almost always follow, is pessimistic. However, when we talk about hope, pessimistic not always follow, if different subject optimistic, pessimistic terms almost certainly become opposition penegas.

Hope

hope is the sum of the mental willpower power international way that you have for your goal (snyder, 1994)

mental element in three basic hope, namely (1) goal (goal), (2) strong desire (willpower), (3) off road (way power).

Goal is any objects, or experiences that we outcomes imagine and in our minds desire (snyder, 1994)

have hope for the mean have goal achieved, achieved, obtained. Purpose of this is important as the main component in a hope. We want to get something like a house on the mountain, performance or activity in place (campus, office) like two days job done faster than project deadline, or arrange performances arts with success.

Dynamic movement have such purpose in the range from the start size to may not sure. Like, as we want students to change image of indonesia to be positive negative eye in the world. Purpose of this range in mental 'not possible' to 'sure can'. Next step, how this range narrowing and sharpening?

What we need is to focus attention yourself on one main goal, goal that make something as important and large meaningful solder then wrap strength and hope in yourself. When we have in place that purpose confirmed special, mental basic elements of the next take over else. Before we willpower stepped way to the next power.

Willpower is in the driving force helpful thinking (snyder, 1994)

how strong desire for surrender our goal is making the next will speak. The boxes in mental firmness containing ourselves and commitment we will help to move with directions for making effective goals we have set in the beginning.

We will be easier if this willpower move nature in our cognitive able to imagine, clearly understand and present such essential purpose. Willpower represent cognitive abilities in making our initiatives and activities sustainable goal reached.

In case the above, we need to formulate clear and concrete what is turning into a positive image in the world indonesia. Other variables are important considerations to be here as we are students. As a student, what can be done to achieve goals / desire that? Like; psychology student research competition won the international level.

Experience success in the past are one of the basis of basic mental strength in this, but this is not to start off card.

Power reflects the way or mental plans road maps that guide hopeful thought (snyder, 1994)

not just making goals desire / desire, but also can not how to get left behind. Power as a way to find mental abilities and creating effective way.

Once again, very purpose of clarity will help this way power plan and solutions published various actions. Related production activities with the solution, then flexibility crucial role. "if you can not do it in one way, do it another way" gives the motto be comprehensive picture.

In case earlier, we define after clear goals for the race won the international level psychology student research, then what steps that can be reached? Our ability to play here still so wide, we can make a list of such; do your own research, if requested will see many difficulties, we can develop cooperation with the national institute researcher, in cooperation with lecturer, making friends with one self research campus, do topic choice represents that most of indonesia, character study competition held, and others.

We have discussed study of hope, may start with what difference quite familiar that we often equate (confuse) that is optimistic.

Optimistic

the learned optimism optimist approach suggests that have a style of explaining events and so they distance circumscribe their failure (snyder, 1994)

turn on the mind is optimistic about what happened to one person, specially events bad. There are three main dimensions in optimistic;

(1) as a factor mistake putting yourself from external

(2) evaluating errors in perspective will be continuing to continued or not

(3) looking only fault with explanation on a specific area than comprehensive saw like, which is possible factors not related but looks can be a cause.

"yes, my bad did swimmer, but you have to see if my basketball deh" the optimist give reason for external events as bad explanation, the difference with pessimistic the are, in in the opposite extreme. If then optimist sees events bad mistake as yourself from external, internal factors of saw pessimistic (blame yourself, like), and rigid and global interest attribution.

Hope, optimistic and pessimistic
in case of students who want to change a negative image to be positive in indonesia eyes world. Individual which have hope will rely willpower, power way to achieve goals (positive image). Individual while looking optimistic about negative image of indonesia as a result of political world conditions that iraq war because heats. On the other side again, people will pessimist said, "well, it is from the first, when to indonesia always lose any other countries from"

connecting the hope that someone is in the process of success, failure to make this out to be or not too outline sharpened, mental process because that happens is formed to achieve something interwoven, that is success. Temporary event theme optimistic still brings bad / failure.

Not that there are scarce joked, "sih optimistic be optimistic, but realistic dong" means, one process is not yet optimistic definitely improving conditions in negative happens (like) and it's making sure the real results. How would also, optimism without hope, will not be nothing, and hope without motion and business, also making no nothing. All back in motion and business

FINDING YOUR EROTIC ZONE

2010-07-06T10:32:00.001-07:00

Subtleties Zone Erotic Erotic Zones are specific points on the body when
will induce a feeling of delicious touch. Despite feeling that is felt can vary between individuals, the dots "certain" that was part-filled with nerve endings. The skin in those areas most sensitive when you get a touch.

The most important point in a woman is the clitoris. This region is the most important part to achieve orgasm and sexual pleasure. Other points are also known to produce pleasure is an area between the legs and anus, which is generally called the perineum. Nipple is also known as a very sensitive area. Nipple will experience 'erection' when experiencing sexual pleasure. Stimulation of the nipple area - particularly with the use of mouth - will cause the release of oxytocin, a chemical believed to be associated with the emergence of feelings of close or tied. Area
lip is also filled with nerve endings.

Of course, every woman has their own favorite areas, ranging from the neck, ears to places where more unique as the center of your lower back or legs.

What about the G-spot? G-spot is a network on the front vaginal wall (the part closest to the abdominal wall) and touted as the most stimulating zone. G-spot is supposed to be part of the clitoris and the rear is identical to the prostate gland in men. But regardless of its origins are anatomically, there is little evidence to support the G-spot role in achieving orgasm.

Navigating erotisKarena zone every woman has a very big difference in feeling a touch, why would you not try to explore, find these dots together with your spouse? Each, in turn can explore the points that may stimulate and create pleasure in their partner's body, using touch with a bit of pressure.

But that should not be overlooked is that the largest erotic zones of a woman lies on her brain. Attracted to them physically and good relations are the two most useful stimulation.

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Masturbation

2010-07-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation performed on the genitals to get sexual pleasure and satisfaction. This is occasionally done by most men and women. In a study revealed that 95 percent of men and 89 percent of women reported having masturbated. This is the first sexual behavior done by most men and women, although more women than men engage in intercourse even before they had ever masturbated.

Most men who masturbate tend to do that more often than women, and they tend to express 'always' or 'usually' have an orgasm while masturbating (80: 60). This is the most common sexual behaviors number two (after intercourse), even for those who already have a regular sexual partner.

Most of the children - often after the baby - sometimes find pleasure when stimulated genitalnya organs, but do not understand this behavior as "sexual" before they enter adolescence. During adolescence, the percentage of those (both male and female) who masturbate increased rapidly, especially in men. Most people continue to masturbate in adulthood, and many do so conceived body lifetime.

Masturbation conjures up many myths about its damaging and embarrassing. This negative image could be traced as far back as the word comes from Latin, masturbare, which is a combination of two Latin words manus (hand) and stuprare (abuse), so that means "abuse by hand." Notion of shame and sin are already entrenched due servings
"Misuse" of the word has remained in the modern translation - even though medical authorities have agreed that masturbation causes no physical or mental harm.

Nor is there evidence that children who engage in self-stimulation could have celaka.Yang happens is an important source of sexual satisfaction is by some circles still responded with guilt and anxiety because of their ignorance that masturbation is a safe activity, as well as teaching religion centuries who regard it as a sinful activity. Moreover, many of us have received negative messages from our parents, or been punished when caught masturbating during childhood. Cumulative effects of these events is usually confusion and guilt that is often difficult to sort out. Moment in which masturbation became so dangerous is when he had penetrated the soul (compulsive). Compulsive masturbation - as other mental health behaviors - is a sign of psychiatric problems and need to get treatment from a psychiatrist.

So, contrary to ancient beliefs, masturbation does not lead to unbridled lust, you will not cause blindness or deafness, cause you cold, crazy, grow hair on your hands, stutter, or kill you. Masturbation is a natural expression of sexuality and is not harmful to man and woman, and a great way to experience sexual pleasure. In fact, some experts argue that masturbation could improve sexual health because it increases one's understanding will be body parts and how pleasing, building self-confidence and attitude can understand ourselves.

This knowledge can then be taken to obtain a satisfying sexual relationship in the future, either by masturbation couples together, or because they can tell each other what is most pleasing to them. This is a good idea for every couple to discuss the behavior of their masturbation and to calm the couple if at any time one of them would prefer to masturbate
than intercourse.

In some instances, masturbate together may be acceptable. Done alone or in the presence of a partner, these activities can be fun and add to mutual intimacy if it is not considered as a rejection. Like other activities, if this was not communicated well, masturbation
can be interpreted as a sign of anger, alienation, or unhappiness to the relationship being berlangsung.Dengan overcome negative stereotypes of society and personal feelings of each individual about masturbation, then the men and women could be the freedom to explore and enjoy their sexuality in private, in a way that satisfactory. One caveat: to keep getting safer sex, masturbation with a partner can be an enjoyable alternative to intercourse, as long as you avoid contact with semen or vaginal fluids your spouse, especially if you have any scratches or open wounds.

Libido

2010-07-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

Libido is not a foreign term to most people. Libido (sexual desire) is a term commonly used by the founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, to name a desire or sexual impulse. He said that the impulse is characterized by a gradual growth until the peak intensity, followed by a sudden decrease of the stimulus. When he studied this process in his patients, Freud concluded that the various activities such as eating and drinking, and urinating and defecating also have the same pattern. Consequently, he concludes that these actions also have sexual desires too.

Freud was also interested in the development of libido, which he sees as the most basic human impulse and most powerful. He believes that the development of libido can be divided into several distinct stages and can be recognized. During the baby, she saw that the focus of sexual desire in the mouth, and is usually manifested in sucking activity.
He calls this the oral stage of sexual development. In the second year and third stages in the life of a child, when the child is learning to use the restroom, the focus of erotic pleasure of moving into rectal function. Freud called this stage anal.Kemudian, at the time of puberty, the focus moves on to the sex organs, a
period of development he calls the phallic stage of sexual desire in adulthood.

In the next phase of development, boost libido, focusing on the parents of the opposite sex and adding color to the experience of erotic boy to his parents. Parental disapproval of sex drive that is not controlled by Freud believed to be continuing on the development of the human soul consists of three components: the id, ego and superego. Id, the instincts and the basic impetus (including libido, but also others such as the aggressive drive) provides the physical energy required to perform the activity.

Ego, which have executive functions, managing the fulfillment of sexual desire and other passions every day in ways that are acceptable and can be done in the community. Superego is the social standards of behavior that has been understood and studied, including awareness of behaviors that are prohibited or unlawful. In a conscious state, there is a strong boundary separating these three regions, but the time to sleep or fantasy, this limit is weakened, allowing the rise of the expression of the desire libido which is usually controlled. Awareness of encouragement and uncontrolled fantasy can make someone feel ashamed or sexual guilt. Freud believed that a person's personality is formed early in life and is determined
how to boost libido basically as satisfied. Failure to satisfy this impulse leads to personal growth and psychological health following seseorang.Generasi of psychoanalyst Freud questioned about libido. Some emphasize a point where too much emphasis on the development of Freud's biological and less stress resulting from cultural and social factors in behavior and sexual practices.

Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, reject the view of Freud's libido by rejecting the view that sexual experience when the baby is an important determinant of adult emotional problems. Jung makes another theory about the libido which views the desire to live - and not a libido - is the strongest impulse. Jung emphasized the difference between introverted and extroverted personalities. Extroverts are individuals who desire a strong lead (but not all) out to others and the world around them. They feel comfortable in social circumstances where they are and really be friends. Introverts are the opposite characteristics, including directing attention to the process of self and mind. They are usually self-reliant, introspective, thoughtful and usually not too comfortable in large social groups. Jung used the term libido to refer to the mental energy which is responsible for creating and maintaining an intro / extrovert. He can not believe someone is an introvert or an extrovert, but is a mixture of both in varying degrees.

Many experts saw the libido as a contemporary psychological basis of human potential - though rooted in human biology (eg, hormones) - formed by the culture and experience. In other words, the basic human impulse to activities based on biological reproduction and the potential to get pleasure from the act relating to physical contact (eg nerve points on the skin and mucous membranes) formed by the experience of someone in their growth as a family and sexual motivation masyarakat.Bagaimana structured, and by how sexual urges satisfied, and whether certain actions are called or avoided as inappropriate, it is determined by social influences.

G-SPOT is not just GIVERS PLEASURE

2010-07-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

Apparently one woman's erotic zones or rather G-spot, not only acts as an organ of pleasure giver during intercourse. The researchers said that the process of evolution may have been designing this zone into an organ that can reduce pain during labor.

German obstetrician, Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, the letter 'G it' is used in the G-spot, first woman described the erotic zone was about 50 years ago. Since then, researchers have wondered about the exact role of the G-spot. Several animal studies have shown that in addition to giving pleasure, the G-Spot also has the effect of pain relief.

Since the early 80s, Dr. Beverly Whipple and colleagues from Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey, has conducted a series of studies to prove whether the findings in animals can be applied in humans (women).

Their research has consistently shown that the discovery could indeed be applied in humans. 'We have the hypothesis that without the G-spot, the delivery process will become much more painful, "says Whipple. Their results are reported in Scandinavian Journal of Sexology, latest edition.

After doing about a dozen research, Whipple's team has found that by stimulating this zone, the woman's pain threshold can be increased significantly. Pressure on the G-Spot during the birth process seem to be able to create a kind of analgesic effect (pain relief) experience.

Whipple's claim began to find more evidence on this subject while doing research on the women who love to eat foods rich in chilies in Mexico. Chili is known to contain a chemical called capsaicin, which is on research with animals can dull the pain relief effects from the G-spot.

The women who frequently consume spicy foods, no increase pain threshold when their G-spot is stimulated. Capsaicin seems to have damaged some nerves which is the key natural pain inhibiting effects of the G-spot.

Whipple said, she began to understand specifically why the women speaking Spanish in the region experiencing a moment of heavy labor. Previously, he figured if it was caused by differences in culture and way of expressing pain.

4 OF 5 WOMEN PLAYING IN OFFICE

2010-06-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

According to the findings of a survey in the UK, women in this country was 'savage' in the workplace. They love to flirt and sleep with her boyfriend, without remorse.

The survey was conducted in the UK on 2000 women between the ages of 18 and 35 tahun.Terungkap, at least 82 percent of women enjoying sex with her male colleagues. As many as 61 percent had slept with a male colleague one time throughout his career.

Among women who were asked, only slightly felt remorse after spending an evening such mengasikkan. Only 8% believe sex destroy his relationships. As many as 58% said such behavior was not affected.

When was this desire to vent, it seems that these women do not care where they enjoy it. As many as 25% have sex in his office, 16% in the office of women, 12% at the bosses desk and 4% admitted berasyik-masyuk in the cabinet office.

Mentioned, the boss is the main target of these women. As many as 20% of them admitted that they were willing to sleep with the boss if the reward is the increased positions, no matter whether the boss is attractive or not.

Two of the 10 women claimed to have slept with a former boss or the boss now. Among them, 47% did so without any bond and 15% eventually continued into the aisle.

The most intense periods of indecent act is that it is now an office Christmas party. It is said, as many as 41% felt remorse for committing this despicable act during a party.

At least as much as 33% fear a kiss with someone who did not to their liking. As many as 13% regretted the fall in this temptation. And 7% claimed that her clothes off is the worst experience.

According to the testimony of other groups, 34% do so because it is very drunk, 23% was determined to feel the sex was - 11% with the boss - and 7% used drugs first before enjoy this feast.

The survey was conducted by www.newwoman.co.uk, a woman in the UK site. But of course still need further research to ensure accuracy.

4 SIGNS PEOPLE aroused

2010-06-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

Knowing what changes occur when someone is aroused useful to recognize the extent to which sexual intercourse has taken place, is already close to orgasm or not, and whether it can achieve orgasm or not. A perfect sexual reaction proceeds through four phases. The reaction that occurs when a person receives adequate sexual stimulation. When sexual stimulation is felt not enough, then the person will not experience sexual response cycle. But someone who experience sexual dysfunction, also will not experienced it but have received adequate sexual stimulation. There is no sexual reaction that occurs in each phase are as follows:

Stimulus phase

This phase begins when there is sexual stimulation, both physical and psikik. Reactions that occur in this phase may be faster or slower, depending on the intensity and effectiveness of the stimulation, physical health, and previous sexual experience. In women, this phase was marked by the perlendiran vaginal blood flow as a result of dams on the walls. Perlendiran causes penetration of the penis into the vagina
take place easily, and painlessly.

Another reaction that occurs is clitoral erections, which is to become tense and enlarged, all parts of the vagina widened but two thirds of the more broad and elongated, the uterus is lifted, big lips widened and raised. Also enlarged breasts with nipples taut.

In men, the real reaction is caused by the dam penile erection blood in it. Testicles lifted, leather bags testicles (scrotum) appear more slippery. The degree of penile erection is strongly influenced by the intensity of stimulation and physical condition. In addition to the genitals, some other body parts also have reactions. Heart rate and blood pressure increase, increased muscle tension, breathing frequency increased, and on the skin occurs
reddish patches (sex flush).

Flat phase

In this phase, significant changes in blood flow of women is a great dam on the wall of the vagina third exterior. This reaction is called Orgasmic platform. As a result, vaginal third outer narrowed about 30% or more. While the vagina 2 / 3 part in widening. Other changes are part of the stem and the head of the clitoris pulled back. This position changes, coupled with blood flow to the dam wall genital lips, the clitoris is difficult to see, even hard to the touch.

Sections around the nipples which began tightening in the late phase of stimulation, it becomes increasingly tense. In 50-75% of women occurred reddish spots, which usually begins in the pit of the stomach, breast and spreads to the chest wall. This spotting can also occur in other body parts, including the buttocks, back and face.

In men, there was a slight increase in diameter at the base of the penis head, while color becomes older. Testicle size increases due to dam the flow of blood. Sometimes a bit of fluid out of the penis, which comes from the Cowper's glands so that the tip of the penis wet. Fewer men who have reactions reddish patches (sex flush). Changes in other body parts still occur, ie increased muscle tension, heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory frequency.

Orgasm phase

If stimulation continues, then the peak was reached sexual reaction, namely an orgasm. At this moment of sexual tension is suddenly released. Physically, the orgasm is the shortest phase in the sexual response cycle. Usually only lasts a few seconds, which is characterized by rhythmic muscle spasms that are causing strong physical sensation, followed by rapid relaxation. Rhythmic muscle spasm is not just happening on the genitals, but also on all other body muscles.

In psikik, orgasm is the peak of sexual pleasure. Events orgasm vary at different times, and also varies in each individual. Sometimes an orgasm is a sensation that is very explosive and extraordinary, but for others may be something going on with quiet and less dramatic. This intensity difference is caused by several physical factors such as exhaustion and the time since the previous orgasm. Also be caused by factors such psikik personal relationship with a partner, and feeling at that time.

But the sensation of orgasm is not always the same with sexual satisfaction for sexual satisfaction involves a deep emotional involvement. Executors can masturbation orgasm but may not feel sexual pleasure. In women, orgasm is characterized by rhythmic spasms in the third outside the vagina, uterus, and the muscles around the anus. But the actual reactions that occur are the total whole body, not limited to the genitals and surrounding areas. Orgasm in women may occur many times the home continue to receive adequate sexual stimulation. But some women only achieve orgasm at all. On the front wall of the vagina there is the outside of an area called the G spot. Stimulation of the G spot orgasm cause different compared with the stimulation to the clitoris. Some women who received stimulation to the G spot orgasm is accompanied by "ejaculation". But of course the liquid that comes out is not the sperm, as occurs in men during ejaculation.

Fluids released when women "ejaculate" is presumed to derive from the Skene glands around the urethra (the urethra). Therefore liquid "ejaculation" are removed through the urethra. But the liquid is not urine. In general, men can easily reach orgasm. Male orgasm easily felt because it occurs with their partner ejaculates. Actual orgasm and ejaculation are two different events. In certain circumstances, an orgasm can occur without ejaculation.

Children, for example, can experience orgasm without ejaculation, since sperm are not produced. Conversely, ejaculation can occur without the sensation of orgasm, for example due to nerve disorders. In general, men can only achieve orgasm first time. After that he will enter the refractory period in which he seems immune to the stimulation and unable to achieve orgasm and ejaculation again. Refractory period was influenced by age, state of health of the body, and received sexual stimulation.

But men can orgasm more than once, if able to control so that ejaculation does not occur. So before ejaculation, orgasm can be achieved more than one kali.Perubahan-changes in other body parts still occur, ie increased muscle tension, heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory frequency.

Phase Resolution

During the resolution phase, sexual organs and other body parts were to change, and returned to its original state Often this occurs in the last phase of sweating reactions can happen on the entire body.

By recognizing the various changes that occur during the sexual response cycle can be detected harmonious sexual relationship took place or not.

12 QUESTIONS FOR ASSESSING SEX Addiction

2010-06-19T13:35:00.000-07:00

A simple way to assess whether a person suffering from addiction to sex. Twelve following questions may be a useful tool for you to find it:

Do you keep secrets about your sexual activities of people who are important in your life? Whether you live two lives at once?

Have you pushed your sexual desire to have sex in places, situations or with people who normally would not you choose?

Are you looking for articles or pictures that are sexually stimulating in newspapers, magazines and other media?

Is your sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or become your refuge from the problems?

Did you always want to get away from your partner after sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual experience?

Do you feel ashamed of your sexuality or bodies, such as you avoid touching your body or perform a sexual relationship? Are you worried that you yourself do not have sexual desires and that you are an asexual?

Does each new relationship continue with the same destructive patterns, which causes you to decide a relationship?

Do you need a frequency of sexual activity and a greater variety than ever before in obtaining the release and satisfaction?

Have you ever been arrested or are under threat to be arrested for peeping habits, naked in public, prostitution, sex with someone who is not old enough, indecent conversations on the phone, and so forth?

Is your sexual life patterns and beliefs interfere with your spiritual development?

Do your sexual activities contain risks, threats, disease, pregnancy, coercion or violence?

Your sexual behavior ever left feeling empty, isolated, and wanted to commit suicide?

If you find an answer 'yes' on more than one of the questions above, you are advised to seek further information or consult with an expert psychiatrist or seksologi.

SEX TOOLS

2010-06-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

The genitals are the sex organs in male and female pelvic regions. Male genitals and female genitals are divided into external (visible outside the body) and genitals in (which was in the body). External genitalia are male penis and scrotum. Genitalia it is the testes, epididymis, and vas deferens (located at
in the scrotum), seminal vesika, prostate gland, ejaculatory channel, Cowper's gland, and urinary tract.

In terms of sexual play and sexual relationships, the most important part of the male genitals are, no doubt, penis.Seperti well as male, female genitals are the inside and outside. Outside the female sex organ as a whole is called the vulva, where they are including the clitoris, the two pairs of folds called the labia, mons pubis, and the mouth of the vagina and urethra within the vestibule vestibule. The outside of a woman's genitals and surrounding area is very sensitive to physical stimulation and play a large role in sex.

External genitals are sensitive to the touch and when they are stimulated or when a man or woman to be roused passions, genital changes that make sexual pleasure, and at certain moments, can reproduce in the female genital terjadi.Alat complex including the hymen,
Bartholini gland, urethra, vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes pair, and two ovaries. Vaginalah are always engaged in sexual activity, in which the fallopian tubes, uterus, ovaries, and cervix are important organs of reproduction. The role of the gland still dipaha Bartholini

WHAT WOMEN WANT FROM THE RELATIONSHIP sex?

2010-06-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

The women generally are more sexual satisfaction than the satisfaction of his partner to reach orgasm. They are more concerned with emotional closeness and feeling comfortable when talking about sexual activity with a partner. This was presented by John Bancroft, MD, director of the Kinsey Institute
in meetings that discuss sexual function in women.

What worked was revealed by researchers in a 1000 survey of more than heterosexual women to use a computerized phone is that factors such as mood, general welfare and the relationship seems to be the most important contributors, more than an orgasm, for women's sexual well-being.

According to respondents, the factors that determine their sexual well-being is as follows (sorted from most important):

 Public Welfare - defined as having a spirit,
 tranquility, and good mood
 subjective sexual experience - an emotional reaction during
 sex
 Attraction to partner
 Sexual Response - physical changes, including the orgasm, which
 arise during sex
 Frequency of sex with their spouse
 Sensitivity to the needs of their partner
 Personal Health
 Health partner

In 1942, Alfred C. Kinsey, SCD, founded the Institute for Sex Research, Inc., To research on human sexual behavior. The findings of Kinsey and his colleagues, based on

interview of 18 000 men and women, published in Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953). The results of these studies have paved the way for further studies on human sexuality conducted in accordance with the terms of the laboratory and aims to obtain a more realistic understanding of sexual behavior.

WOMEN ARE ejaculate?

2010-06-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

Think of ejaculation and the shadow of an orgasm, then a prialah
likely to arise in our minds. Yet many women also remove fluid from the urethra during orgasm. For centuries, there is already a written report from the experiences of several women who delivered fluid during orgasm. Why is this happening and where the source of those fluids has become a fierce debate among scientists, physicians, and researchers for years. Although most of the events associated with the stimulation of female ejaculate directly on the G-spot, there are many women who experience episodes of ejaculation during sexual activity, such as stimulation of the clitoris and cunnilingus.

Many women often experience ejaculation but held it for fear of discharge of urine. Based on chemical analysis, these liquids have the same composition with a liquid produced by the prostate gland and chemically man has nothing to do with urine. But keep in mind is that not all
women have the ability to ejaculate. Then, not all women are able to ejaculate every time they experience orgasm. In addition, the amount of fluid that is released can also vary, ranging from a few drops to a few tablespoons.

Although new information about the functioning of the human body has been widely produced since 50 years ago, still there are things that do not understand about sexual physiology. The topic of the female ejaculation is just one example of the side
human sexuality is still covered by fog of mystery.

From the early to mid 80s, has been much research
made to the topic of ejaculation in women, whether conducted by experts or the media. However, the popularity of this phenomenon does not lead to facts that can be universally accepted. Currently, we can encounter many
ads on the user guide and videos that promise to teach the women how to ejaculate. We should not just believe in the ads. Why? Because the physiological mechanisms that regulate ejaculate on the woman's
still not completely understood.

One common misconception about the female ejaculation is that ciran was actually issued by the urine bladder and released into the urethra due to contraction of the pelvic muscles during orgasm. Many women who become sexually aroused (especially during the direct stimulation of the G-spot) feel as if losing control over bladder and therefore
restrain themselves during sexual activity to avoid "accidents."

Although some women may lose control over their bladder during sexual activity, but may be many women who experience discharge from the Skene glands. Skene glands are glands that are formed by a particular tissue and surrounds the urethra. Glands is similar to the prostate gland in men and produces fluid that is chemically very similar to prostate fluid. Some women are likely to produce this liquid in the amount more than others. This may explain why ejaculation seems more real in some women.

Are the women can learn their own ways to ejaculate was a question that still needs further examination. However, the important thing is not too focused on the happening or not things like this during sexual activity. Remember, the ultimate goal
of an intimate relationship should be a pleasure, rather than to obtain or achieve certain things. Although sometimes a bit difficult, but the best way to help you obtain a pleasant sexual experience is with communication. You need to communicate with partners and opening up to the new experiences.

Asexual

2010-06-19T13:28:00.000-07:00

Asexual term absences related to sexual activity or low levels of sexual response. Unity cells of male and female sexual (such as sperm and egg in humans) is at the core of a reasonable reproduction among mammals and most non-mammalian species. However, many organisms that reproduce through asexual means, such as spore formation, bud, or cleavage. Organisms that reproduce in this way has no gender.

Aseksualitas also be related to lack of interest or involvement in the sex in sexual species. Some religious stream requires its members to some degree to stay away from sex. Although they may have had a normal sense of sexual interest, they are required to swear not to do so. In recent times, the lack of involvement in sexual activity can cause a loss of interest

sexual. Pledge to stay away from sex can be carried out outside the religious arena, although usually depends on the time and conditions. Disinterest in sex can also be caused by sexual dysfunction: ie, psychological or organic condition that prevents normal sexual behavior and responses. Specifically, in the case lack of sexual attraction will be filled, this condition can be diagnosed as sexual desire disorder.

In this disorder the patient did not have sexual fantasies or desire sex is fixed. Furthermore, these individuals showed a strong aversion to genital contact either heterosexual or homosexual. In addition, the ongoing failure in sexual response may lead to avoidance of sex or sexual situations. This can happen anytime in the age of a person's life, but tends to occur more frequently in older people. Conditions like these can have emotional roots, or it can also have an organic cause. Often they can be cured through sex therapy and / or medical intervention. However, this disorder may also reflect the complex psychological problems are difficult to cure. In addition, some individuals may be biologically incapable of sexual desire or engage in sexual activity and even a member of the sexual species, they are asexual. But this is a rare condition and most from sexual dysfunction can be overcome by therapeutic interventions.

HOW TO CHANGE WHEN PREGNANCY SEX RELATIONSHIPS

2010-06-19T13:24:00.000-07:00

In the first trimester of pregnancy, your spouse may make you more eager than usual. For some men, the ability to make a woman becomes pregnant, is a form of assertion of "manhood" himself (before he became the candidate's father, most men feel afraid that if they are infertile and can not be knocked up a woman). In addition,

many prospective fathers who feel closer to their wives who were pregnant, and their closeness is often expressed erotically.

For some other guy, first trimester (probably also over the period of pregnancy) is the period decrease their sexual arousal. Before your partner pregnant, for example, perhaps she is a woman who was beautiful, very sexy and your loved ones. But now, when you're pregnant, her body became "swollen" and no longer looks exciting. And even worse, having your wife give birth, you know that he will become a mother. And a mother often does not look sexy because they do not have time

longer care for herself. If you adhered to the principle that sex was merely a tool to breed, then you will feel that there is no point in having sex when your wife is pregnant.

Along with his parents pregnancy increases, the difference between those who want to have sex with that does not also continue. most men, for example, feel that their partner's body is enlarged, is the essence of femininity, and by

therefore look very attractive. But some did not feel that way. Enlarged abdominal their partner, with breasts that dripped, it may be seen more dirty and less exciting.

Sex safe for your baby in the womb. Perhaps the most common reasons of a man (and woman) to reduce sexual activity during pregnancy is a concern when they hurt the baby. If you also have

feeling like this, you should be calm, because your baby is actually floating safely in a bag containing the amniotic fluid. Almost no chance for you to hurt your baby, unless you do a rough sex. But this of course does not apply to women who are prone to miscarriage.

The idea of sex during pregnancy also has other advantages. This might make your wife feel closer to you, and do not feel worried anymore even though you do not use contraceptives. He may find that the idea of creating a form with your life as something

very erotic. He may also be very happy with her body being expanded and looks more feminine.

Other hand, your wife may spend most of this first trimester with nausea and vomiting due to pregnancy. And this is probably not very exciting you.

In terms of sex, for most men, their wife's body is changing is the source of numerous conflicts, misunderstandings and confusion. You might be aroused to see your body shape of a pregnant wife, but did not want to do anything that has to do with sex because of fear

if he does not feel himself interesting. Conversely, your partner may feel more sexy than ever before, but did not want to start a sexual relationship for fear that you no longer love her shape.

Communication is important

The solution is to communicate with each other. You need to be open about feelings, desires and your needs. You also need to expand the horizons of variation of sexual relations - especially in the last months of pregnancy, when your partner no longer feels comfortable with the missionary position, or even impossible to make contact with this position.

Actually, you have a wide selection of sexual variations that can give satisfaction to you both. Sexual relationship with the position of the rear entrance, each lying on the side (spooning) or the woman on top, are examples of good position.

HOW WOMEN SATISFACTORY

2010-06-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

When a new partner to have sex for the first time, can you guess that sex is less enjoyable sex is more common than spectacular. This is perfectly normal, because they are still a little nervous about what to expect from one another and really do not know what is liked by her partner.

But if you follow these suggestions, you would probably be one man among so rare, that can give satisfaction in the sexual prime.

We all know that first impressions are very play. The same is true of the prime sex with your partner.

Preparation

The first thoughts that should have occurred in your head is: "Does my body clean? Does my armpit scent?" No woman wants to close within nine feet from the man who smelled like a sardine sandwich bread / tuna / garlic freshly prepared. So, wash up before you start 'battle', and then shave or trim the hair on your body, brush your teeth and tongue well, and ...... do not forget, you must replace your underwear.

Neatness yourself is also important. Do not forget to wear fresh-smelling deodorant for your underarms. A little gel or mousse in my hair and spray a little cologne would smell good for you.

Location

If you are an entrepreneur, you know that the three most important decisions you can make is location, location and location. Guess what, same thing applies in the romance.

So, before doing 'bout' this, you need to make sure that the room was in a state of neat, fitted sheets are freshly laundered linens, the candles are in a state ready to be lit and no strange smells spread through the air.

Create an inviting atmosphere mood

You can play beautiful music to create a romantic atmosphere. But you need to select the type of music and the right singer.

Many men who made the mistake of not using their imagination to choose the right music. They often play the songs that is predictable and boring. If you are confused, you may be able to try music tribal (ethnic) or electronic jazz without vocals.

Heating

Heating is not the act of releasing a skirt and bra pulled off your spouse. A good lover knows that the warming begins many hours before the 'battle' and involves physical and mental game. The secret is to be patient and slowly (take at least two hours).

Undressing is a great way to start a physical warm-up. But, remind yourself to it slowly. Create dramatic as possible. The longer the time that you use, it will become increasingly impatient.

Open the clothes one by one by hand and your lips. When you are opening parts of his clothing, massage the body part that is open simultaneously.

Investigation

Do not touch the 'gate' ecstasy before her vagina becomes wet with liquid. If he had not experienced it, you will need to continue with heating. Remember to keep your hands clean - especially your fingernails.

Instead melulurkan saliva in your fingertips, as do most men, wet 'gate' is. It's more sexy and not look like a mechanical nature. Then your hands should go into her vagina and G-spotnya pressing lightly. If he started very excited, add one or two fingers and continue to move in and out gently and slowly.

Create she orgasms

In a perfect world, you probably hope that your female partner to orgasm first. However, because life is "very unfair" ... :-), Most men climax earlier than their mistresses. If this happens, remind yourself that how unpleasant it was and how unfair if you do not give the same pleasure of orgasm on her lover.

Once you reach the climax, enjoy and feel it. Then jump back to 'fight scene' until your partner reaches orgasm too. Your lack of energy? Try two bottles of energy drink and let this incredible beverage restore your energy throughout the night. If he still does not reach orgasm, and you do not have the energy to perform intercourse, it is recommended that you perform oral sex on them, all you can, without complaining. Remember, your reputation is at stake!

Bisexual

2010-06-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

Bisexual women and men who are sexually attracted to members or eroticism of both sexes. Usually - but not always - bisexual men engage in sexual activity with partners of both sexes. Jargon term that refers to people that bisexuality is an AC / DC (based on the terms used to describe two types of electric currents), 'bat-change' (a term that describes a baseball bat to hit from any side, depending on who throws), or the person who 'swings in both directions' (another baseball phrase, but could

also associated with swing as sexual behavior).

Compared with heterosexuality and homosexuality, very few scientific studies have been conducted on the bisexual. Based on the study which was done, it seems that people are not bisexual people are essentially homosexual tendencies but it also has some of the behavior of heterosexual sex. They have not the tendency of people who are basically heterosexual, but who also enjoy sex homosexual behavior. Also, basically, they are not the people who - at one stage in their lives - engage in sexual behavior with someone of one sex and then at another stage, engaging in sexual behavior with people of other sexes, although This continuous pattern of change is sometimes called transitional bisexual. However, a bisexual is a person who is more sexually attracted to persons of both sexes during the same time in their lives.

It is estimated that people get experienced events and bisexual men in several different ways. For some people it begins as a form of trial to add a spark to their sex lives, but it does not become the main arena of sexual activity. For others it is their deliberate choice to participate in whatever feels most comfortable at that time.

There are three specific circumstances that have been considered to encourage the emergence of bisexuality:

Sexual experiments on the relationship between good friends quite common among women and can also occur between two male best friends, or a homosexual man may develop a sexual relationship of normal relations, but friendly, with a woman.

Group sex is another place to experiment bisexual. Finally, some people take the philosophy of bisexuality as a result of growth in personal belief systems. For example, a woman who had been active in the women's movement found that they became close with other women through the experience and

This closeness translates into sexual expression. Bisexual men may experience homosexual attraction and engage in a homosexual experience before they become aware of their dual sexuality. For women, the tendency is to experience first heterosexuality.

Although people with bisexual tendencies do not just get along with any forms, there are some patterns that may be applicable to many bisexual. Some men and women seem to switch their choice of sexual partners at random, depending on supply and circumstances. Some have done in the form of this relationship, looking for alternative sex couples from the time

relationship that is now expired. In another case, a bisexual may have relationships with both men and women. Abuses during the relationship can still be used to express a person bisexual tendencies. Almost always - whichever of these patterns are valid - people with bisexual tendencies have a tendency toward a relationship with one sex than the other. Researchers who have studied the double female sexuality noted that some women who call themselves bisexual say that they have some emotional needs

best met by a man and several others of the most well filled with women. Some bisexual men gave this reason as well, but much more frequently bisexual men describe their sexual lifestyle in terms of need for variety and creativity.

People generally know their bisexual tendencies in adulthood compared with heterosexual and homosexual. The majority of people imitating life and move into the heterosexual bisexual relationships without consciously or without previous thinking.

Most individuals are aware of their interest in same sex to try to deny their interest and try to adjust myself for a while with the heterosexual lifestyle is more accepted in society. Usually the time of adolescence there is a growing inner conflicts about their sexual preferences which may not be resolved fully until adulthood. Because most people, even people with an interest in bisexuality, is considered

as heterosexual or homosexual, these people seem to struggle for a longer time, trying to adjust to one lifestyle or the other. Common for people to have quite well into their 20s or 30s before receiving their bisexual tendencies. The definition of what a normal society, proper, correct, and naturally has a profound influence on how people feel about their sexual orientation bisexual. Therefore, negative views of bisexuality, was not surprised when men and women with bisexual tendencies to feel alienated from and pressured by both heterosexual and homosexual communities. For them, this can lead to serious questions about their sexual identity. Bisexual men had the same problem with homosexual people in 'out' into society and their tendency to tell

to family and friends.

Someone who is bisexual may often find that it is more difficult to initiate and maintain relationships than heterosexual or homosexual person. Because people are different and bisexual people often get me wrong, those who do not have that tendency may be rejected or feel that the friendship with people who tend to survive or bisexual men can not satisfy. Jealousy, which can be a problem in any relationship, especially likely to occur in a relationship with one partner bisexual. The threat of competition that will be so widespread it can become extremely pressing

for couples who are not sure of their relationship. Still so much more to be learned about nature bisexual, and perhaps, as people become more accepted in the bisexual community, scientific studies will be adding new information on what which has been known now.

HOW TO HAVE GREAT SEX?

2010-06-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

Each partner would never forget the wonderful experiences they've ever had, including experience in sex. Maybe all this time you are people who feel that your sex is less satisfying and you want to make a change. Here we discuss a few things that could predict whether you will have a sexual relationship great.

A: physically fit

Sex requires physical energy. Being in a fit condition not only makes last longer, however, you will also enjoy sex more done because of concerns over the loss of muscle pain that occurs afterward. And again, someone who is fit will look more attractive

physical. You'll be pleased to know that people who sleep with you to maintain good physical condition. In addition, a person who was in a state fit, will be better able to perform maneuvers in a position of intercourse. To become more fit, you have several options, for example, became a member of a gym and start practicing. In addition, you also can work out the road distance or biking with friends.

Two: well-coordinated

All great sex requires a rhythmic and coordinated movements. Uncoordinated movements that would make someone look stiff. Coordination is not something owned by someone naturally. Coordination can be enhanced with a variety of exercises, for example: with more frequent sex. In addition, coordination can also be learned by following dance classes, yoga, tai chi or swimming. All the exercises require concentration of energy and the use of several body parts simultaneously.

Three: Able to communicate well

Great sex requires communication, share your feelings with your partner about what is desirable and what is not preferred. Furthermore, great sex (for the long term) also need to feel bound to each other. Feelings are bound to each other show that you understand the feelings of your spouse and vice versa, your partner will understand your feelings. Good communication skills also include the ability to listen well.

Four: always feel 'unsafe'

Lover who felt 'unsafe' tends to be very aware of how feelings, reactions and thoughts mate. As a result, he tends to work harder to ensure that their partners really feel happy. This makes a more powerful sex. If her partner does not feel good, then he also will not be happy.

Five: willing to take risks, to experiment and find the limits of one's personal

Six: Practice

Exercise will make you be a 'player' a more perfect!

Erectile NOT ALWAYS DUE TO SLEEP WHEN DREAMS slob

2010-06-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

Normally, men can experience erections while asleep. In fact, the men may have begun to experience it when was a kid, before they know the sex. A healthy man experienced four to five times every night erections throughout their lives. The frequency and intensity of erections during sleep was found highest during adolescence.

Technical name for an erection while sleeping is a Nocturnal Penile tumescence (NPT). A study of the relationship between the NPT and sleep cycles are reported in the Archives of General Psychiatry in December 1965 edition. In the study, the researchers found that erections every night this happened during the phase of "dream sleep", also known as REM sleep (rapid eye movement). What remains unknown is whether the content of the dream affect the occurrence of an erection.

It seemed certain that not all erections during the night associated with erotic impulses - our dreams are not only filled by the things that smelled of sex. We may regard the NPT as a "blood bath" which nourish for penis. Blood flow increases during erection will supply oxygen-filled blood to the penis and can make healthy tissues in it. According to clinical experience, when a man stopped having erections during sleep, they usually begin shrinking penis.

Since the NPT is a normal event in the life of a man healthy, urologists often test it to find the underlying cause of a case of erectile dysfunction (ED). Most long-term erectile disorder caused by physical problems, such as interruption of blood flow to the penis or diabetes. The men with erectile disorder that long term will eventually stop having the NPT. Conversely, men with emotional or psychological problems (eg depression) that
cause erectile dysfunction should still experience the NPT. Of course, for some men, ED is associated with the problems they have experienced physical and psychological.

Fantassy

2010-06-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Fantasy refers to one's mental image of an object, or situation, and often but not always involve sexual component. Fantasy may be based on past experience or merely an illusion. In general, the fantasy is a combination of both. It is normal for a person to fantasize. Human sexuality is a dimension of social life that is often rich with various kinds of fantasy. Sexual fantasy scenarios often require mental
involve others outside the couple and include activities that are not received or is deemed inappropriate to the culture. Person's ability to fantasize and pleasure obtained in this way is very diverse. For some people fantasy replaces reality or for others it becomes a poor substitute for sexual reality. Fantasy is often triggered by external stimuli, such as an attractive stranger or pictures, movies, or erotic stories.

Research-research that there had different views on gender differences in fantasize. Some argue that men are more prone to fantasies while others insist that fantasy is more common in women. Linda Wolfe conducted a study on 15 000 women aged between 18-34 years old, and less than three percent say they never fantasize.

In Western societies, men are more likely to use sexually explicit material as part of the activities of their fantasies, while women more often use romantic story. Women prefer erotica with a side of a more "refined",
that allows exploration of the imagination. This is different from men who prefer erotica "hard", or a more explicit erotica.

Male fantasy world is dependent upon a new experience full of beautiful women that contains a defined culture and who are always willing and sexually free. Pornographic magazines like Playboy and Penthouse ¬, as well as publishing a series of more "hard" (because it shows explicitly sexual activity),
attempt to seek profit from such fantasies. Women more often base their fantasies on past experience and tend to emphasize the romance and intimacy. Beginnings of women's liberation movement created the renewal of erotic fiction by and for women. In Women On Top,

Nancy Friday insisted that the sexual revolution, women have started to fight for equality and this should be implemented with a rich fantasy life. In his study of more than 10 000 women, noted Friday that the recent fantasy women are more inclined to view themselves as active and assertive woman who gives pleasure. This is very different from the results indicated earlier research, which shows that more women see themselves as passive woman who merely receive pleasure. These findings reflect the importance of the social environment (eg, the impact of the feminist movement) towards the formation of fantasy.

Usually people fantasize during sex or masturbation otoerotik. In his research findings, Alfred C. Kinsey reported that the majority of women (64 percent) and all men fantasize while masturbating. Approximately two percent of women in the study sample could reach orgasm by only
fantasize. Older women tend to fantasize more than younger ones. Some people, particularly those living in rural areas, but this does not always, fantasize having sex with binatang.Berfantasi about certain sexual act that does not mean that people actually want to do or be able to enjoy that behavior. Fantasy can indeed improve the actual sexual activity, but can not be assumed that fantasy latent desire to represent the behavior. So a woman could fantasize that he controlled or even raped by men, but this does not mean that he did want to be raped. Then, probably a male fantasy to have many sexual partners, but
in fact she felt emotionally difficult to establish several relationships at once in some time.

Lately the question of fantasy become more open and more and more recognized that this behavior is fair, both for men and women. Sometimes the fantasy that the private nature "is realized" with a partner to enhance sexual pleasure. Computers and the Internet have contributed
in shaping a new field for the behavior of a fantasy, a place where the vehicle was extensive exchange of electronic pornography, communication "role-the role of" interactive, means of chatting on the topic of fantasy, fantasy and other communications
which dierotiskan or not dierotiskan among computer users. Therapists found that fantasy can help patients overcome sexual problems. With the help of a therapist, a person can face the stage through a fantasy of intimacy and romance are a scourge for him and reduce or eliminate the fear and reluctance.

FOCUS SENSATION

2010-06-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Sensation is the focus of the sequence of specific exercises for couples in which each side took turns giving increasing attention to their feelings. This exercise was originally developed by Masters and Johnson to assist couples experiencing sexual problems, but can also be used as a variation and to increase personal awareness of your partner.
When used as a treatment, the focus of sensation carried out in several stages during therapy. The first stage is usually carried out around the third therapy session, after the origin of the sexual problem has been discussed and the couple already have a clear understanding of maintenance reasons.

In the first stage, the couple has two sessions in which they take turns touching each other's bodies, but must not touch her breasts and genital areas. Its usefulness is not sexual but to build a sense by recognizing the sensitivity of texture, temperature, and forms while doing a touch, or simply to get the sensitivity of the touch of a partner. People who do have to touch to touch what he wanted to tap, not on what basis the preferred partner. The couple were instructed that if sexual passion rose, they should not continue to have sex. Masters and Johnson suggested that the training focus should be silent as possible because the sensation of talking can distract. Obviously touched by the couple who must notify, by verbal or non-verbal, when his opponent was not pleasant touch.

In the next stage, the touch expanded to include breast and genitals. People who do touch instructed to begin with a touch of the common parts of the body, did not immediately touch the genitals or breasts. Once again the emphasis is on awareness of physical sensations and not the expectation of sexual response,
and intercourse and orgasm are still not allowed. Couples are then asked to take turns doing the technique of "riding the hand" as a means of nonverbal communication. By placing one hand over her partner's hand while being touched, one can mark if he felt pressure decreased or increased, the speed increased or decreased, or change to any other point. Masters and Johnson warned that this non-verbal messages must be performed in such a way that touched people not in control, but only adds a bit of input to these touches, which in principle is based on the interests of the fingering.

In the next stage, no longer felt alternately fingering each other but both simultaneously. The purpose of this exercise is to train a more natural and real than the physical interaction (people do not usually take turns touching each other), and to help each partner to move attention to certain parts of the body of his opponent, rather than considering its response. These couples are reminded that although already very excited, sex is still prohibited.
Rise to the next stage, still groping together, then at some point the woman is above without attempting to enter the penis into the vagina. In this position, the woman can rub the penis on the clitoris, vulva, and vagina with your mouth does not care whether or not the male erection.

In subsequent sessions, the woman may put the tip of the penis into the vagina if there is an erection, while still focusing on physical sensations and immediately stopped or arrested if one wanted to reach orgasm or nervous. After completing one or two sessions of this level, couples usually feel comfortable to continue in full intercourse without difficulty.

The technique is simple enough to use as part of a comprehensive program of psychological therapy and can achieve dramatic results, even in cases of severe sexual harassment that has been going on for years. The professionals generally agree that there are a variety of dynamics that play a role in the success of these exercises seem simple. One of them, the sensation is a form of exercise focused mental impairment in which a feared situation gradually be solved by solving the single steps are experienced under safe conditions. Furthermore, instructions which explicitly prohibits sexual arousal and orgasm frees each partner from the pressure to create an adequate response to sexual partners.

It is also important that they be given the opportunity to experience pleasure. Therefore, the focus of sensation is a learning experience in which responses can be shaped and delicious sexual anxiety reduced because of the fear of failure has diatasi.Unsur additional therapy focus sensations associated with the psychodynamics

pair of psychosexual problems. Masters and Johnson, along with renowned sex therapist Helen Singer Kaplan, noted that in a gentle touch with their partners, spouses may experience anxiety about physical intimacy that comes from one party or both. Anxiety, and attitudes of rejection that followed became an important way for the exploration of psychotherapy, and can be very important to understand and develop partner relationships in general, which almost certainly has an important influence in their sexual function.

FAILED TO ACHIEVE ORGASM

2010-06-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

One of the things to be achieved by pairing the act of intercourse is an orgasm. But why some women difficult to achieve orgasm? The scientific community does not understand how to work in the brain mechanisms that allow the occurrence of orgasm. Consequently, only little scientific data available to explain why some women are not able to reach orgasm. What you can do to fix this?

Know yourself.

Feeling comfortable with your own body is the first step to achieve orgasm. There are some people who say that masturbation can help them to recognize their own bodies better. They become more sensitive and know the areas where their bodies are more sensitive. Of course this is not necessarily true for everyone.

Make sure you are in good mood.

You should feel relaxed and comfortable so that they can feel sexual pleasure entirely by yourself or with your partner. If you're angry with your spouse, this is probably not the best time to have sex.

Talk with your partner.

Tell him what you can stimulate sexual arousal. Many women can not achieve orgasm through intercourse. This is not a sexual dysfunction, but only means that your spouse needs to further identify what you feel most passionate. For example, constant clitoral stimulation needed by many women to achieve orgasm, so say to your spouse so that he continues to this stimulus if necessary. But otherwise there is not much like when this is done for too long, you need to express it as well. Secrecy will not help you at all.

Try a new way.

When in the usual way does not help you, maybe it's time for you to try new ways. Clitoral stimulation by hand may rarely experienced by some women as a means to achieve orgasm, so you are encouraged to find alternative methods of stimulation. In some women, the tool is a way Vibrator
good to massage the clitoris during sexual intercourse. In other women may be another tool is more helpful.

Be positive.

Some women reach the stage where pleasure stimulation does not increase anymore. Many people feel this is the enjoyment when they stop and they will not be able to again achieve orgasm. Once a woman is certain she will not longer be able to have orgasms, that's often what happens.

Touch yourself.

Nothing wrong with you fumble your own body during sexual intercourse with your partner. Stimulation of yourself never hurts, and often can enhance the enjoyment of the agency relationship.

G-SPOT

2010-06-19T12:58:00.001-07:00

G-spot (or Grafenberg spot) is the coin of the area extremely sensitive and is situated below the vaginal surface facing to the front of the body. Despite its location is different, the G-spot is usually located in the middle between the hip bone and the cervix, approximately 4.5 inches into the vagina. Researchers have found that in some women feeling more sensitive along the upper vaginal wall, and not just at one point. Since the G-spot is under the surface of the vaginal wall, it must be stimulated indirectly through the vaginal wall.

Many women reported feeling wanted out of urine when the point was first stimulated, but when the stimulation was continued (with an empty bladder), it was very delicious. Some of them even reach orgasm, and there is also the issue of fluid along with the orgasmic contractions earlier. This name given by researchers Perry and Whipple in honor of the German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who first wrote about this, but the presence of the G-spot and their location, has been much debated and controversial. Grafenberg himself pointed to this sensitive area as the point where the urethra (the channel that channel urine from the bladder) are closest to the top of the vaginal wall.

Perry and Whipple insisted that this area is located higher along the vagina, while the other seksologi experts say that the entire outer wall of the vagina, instead of just one point, contains the nerve endings that could produce great stimulus effects when stimulated (stimulation).

Other research shows that for some women, the G-spot does not exist. Also which is still debated is the composition of the liquid (sometimes called female ejaculation results) issued by some women during orgasm due to stimulation of G-spot. According to some researchers that the liquid is urine; others say that it is similar to a fluid element in the male semen (without sperm, of course). Not all women have G-spot discharge, and from some women who spend, do not always go out together every G-spot orgasm.

It is very difficult for a woman to explore the G-spot of its own because most do not have fingers long enough to reach it. Needed the right tools, safe and clean to be inserted into the vagina in search of this point. And working with a partner who is believed to be very enjoyable in finding
G-spot is a woman. By experimenting, a woman can find the type of stimulation that she felt most appropriate.

Stimulation of the penis is usually more effective when done with a fixed pressure and relaxed, not with the usual penis poke, because the G-spot generally needs a strong pressure and at the same place. Adding pressure will slowly help to find the optimum pressure for erotic pleasure without pain. Some women can reach climax only with this kind of pressure;
for some others may greatly increase the level of rangsangannya.

Anal intercourse and the woman on top are effective ways to produce more direct stimulation.

G-SPOT

2010-06-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

G-spot (or Grafenberg spot) is the coin of the area extremely sensitive and is situated below the vaginal surface facing to the front of the body. Despite its location is different, the G-spot is usually located in the middle between the hip bone and the cervix, approximately 4.5 inches into the vagina. Researchers have found that in some women feeling more sensitive along the upper vaginal wall, and not just at one point. Since the G-spot is under the surface of the vaginal wall, it must be stimulated indirectly through the vaginal wall. Many women reported feeling wanted out of urine when the point was first stimulated, but when the stimulation was continued (with an empty bladder), it was very delicious. Some of them even reach orgasm, and there is also the issue of fluid along with the orgasmic contractions earlier. This name given by researchers Perry and Whipple in honor of the German gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg, who first wrote about this, but the presence of the G-spot and their location, has been much debated and controversial. Grafenberg himself pointed to this sensitive area as the point where the urethra (the channel that channel urine from the bladder) are closest to the top of the vaginal wall. Perry and Whipple insisted that this area is located higher along the vagina, while the other seksologi experts say that the entire outer wall of the vagina, instead of just one point, contains the nerve endings that could produce great stimulus effects when stimulated (stimulation). Other research shows that for some women, the G-spot does not exist. Also which is still debated is the composition of the liquid (sometimes called female ejaculation results) issued by some women during orgasm due to stimulation of G-spot. According to some researchers that the liquid is urine; others say that it is similar to a fluid element in the male semen (without sperm, of course). Not all women have G-spot discharge, and from some women who spend, do not always go out together every G-spot orgasm. It is very difficult for a woman to explore the G-spot of its own because most do not have fingers long enough to reach it. Needed the right tools, safe and clean to be inserted into the vagina in search of this point. And working with a partner who is believed to be very enjoyable in finding G-spot is a woman. By experimenting, a woman can find the type of stimulation that she felt most appropriate. Stimulation of the penis is usually more effective when done with a fixed pressure and relaxed, not with the usual penis poke, because the G-spot generally needs a strong pressure and at the same place. Adding pressure will slowly help to find the optimum pressure for erotic pleasure without pain. Some women can reach climax only with this kind of pressure; for some others may greatly increase the level of rangsangannya. Anal intercourse and the woman on top are effective ways to produce more direct stimulation.

G-SPOT is not just GIVERS PLEASURE

2010-06-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

Libido

2010-06-19T12:51:00.000-07:00

Sigh and moan Erotic Libido Power

2010-06-10T11:47:00.000-07:00

Been said that someone will increase when the libido intercourse coupled with verbal actions of the pair. Usually there is a sense of pride when he heard the couple moaning, hissing, or moaning, and to name her partner in the event that intercourse.

Regarding this, A Kasandra Putranto Psi, a psychologist from PT Kasandra Persona foreword justify it.

"Actions taken verbal spouse during intercourse can generate the higher libido. Because when persenggamaan that happens, each of which has been forgotten problem of office work or the kitchen and children," said Kasandra okezone when contacted via cell phone Thursday (21 / 2 / 2008).

However, he added, will cause different effects when the frequency of each pair is not comparable. Where when only male or female couples only creative, but the other spouse does not express it becomes a pleasure. This remark would cause sexual tension.

"Which raises the expression of verbal acts is because each spouse has the same frequency or at least have the same mind," she reveals this unpretentious.

According to him anymore, can not be denied that the majority of men are more likely to take action because they are more verbally expressive than those of Eve. In addition, verbal actions he felt able to raise the cry of orgasm. While most women prefer a sexual activity that is always looking at a norm.

Nevertheless, Kasandra see these conditions are not the same on everyone. Every individual has different properties and characteristics.

"So looking at the preferences and the extent to which a couple find their respective partners," said Kasandra.

Still according to him, the basics must be understood that each spouse is believed that sex should be done naturally and spontaneously. But in the process did not close the possibility for each couple to create lovemaking techniques are more varied. This is important to avoid boredom and saturation while in bed.

"So, if that spouse can not, do not be afraid to learn that sex still smoldering," he said. You're ready to accept the challenge?

Big breasts, Triggers Sexual Passion

2010-06-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

WOMEN "voluptuous" is often the object of "eye wash" for most men. Even the often arouse the adam. According to this, psychologists Sani B Hermawan of Human Resources justify it.

According to him, has become a natural man's chest like a good, full, and challenging. Somehow the shape of orange, papaya, melon or other valuable assets that is still capable of directing man's outlook toward the bottom of your neck.

"In broad outline, men are better looking the opposite sex based on phisicly. Because it makes them happy with a woman with large breasts. When viewed in general, men have a tendency like that because of the combination of intensity, cognition, and necessity," said Sani when okezone contacted via cell phone, Wednesday (26/03/2008).

Intensity, more psychologists graduate of the University of Indonesia, became the main trigger that causes a man like all things physical.

"Intensity is the desire before the occurrence of behavior. So depending on the intentions of a man, because if all things had intended anything can happen," explained the director of the institute's psychology of Human Resources.

According to him again, tastes of men to women with large breasts enough to influence the perception of a handful of women on their sex appeal. So luckily they are blessed with these genetic. Still, that does not mean the They are small chested face of this phenomenon should be worried, because you can still strengthen this asset with the right sport.

Still according to Sani, not only full-breasted women and big, beautiful and toned buttocks can also make the adam passion ignited. Beautiful ass will be seen either as she walked, or wearing tight subordinates.

"Although he generally liked the sexy woman, but women should still have to give the excess was only to couples," he added.

Now, in order not to arouse sexual desire to men at random, so be careful to highlight the advantages your sex appeal.

"The important thing to realize by women is to protect valuable assets owned by the attitudes, behaviors, ways of thinking and conversations that selective. It is necessary to be able to protect themselves so that no external factors that disturb her," he concluded. How, have you keep the sexual arousal of the opposite sex?

Create an Extraordinary Sex

2010-06-10T11:43:00.000-07:00

Tired with sexual activity-that's it? Want to get an incredible sensation of having sex? Nothing wrong to follow the steps below.

According to Dr Fatmawati androlog from Dr. MS SpAnd Setiawan Nugroho, to bring the maximum sexual satisfaction, then do not be afraid to experiment with their own spouse.

"Actually, any steps taken to memeroleh sexual satisfaction, couples who stay home with it okay to do. So that takes the couple's feelings will be stronger," said Nugroho okezone when contacted via cell phone Thursday (28/02/2008) .

According to him, exercising the pelvic muscles with Kegel exercises can also increase your sexual satisfaction. By diligently doing this exercise, make you feel pleasure during intercourse and then increase your orgasms.

"Only problem is, people doing gymnastics at what age? If you are young, okay do it, but if it is old it is a problem," says consultant in sexual rubric okezone.com's lifestyle channel.

Still according to him, teasing his own partner with his passion through the laying of lit candles or play a rhythm Aromatheraphy comply with the romantic bedrooms, will guide the relationship between the 'semi-copula "is toward a better big orgasm.

Moreover, there is nothing wrong to use the tools in sexual activities as long as the couple allowed to use these tools. "More to the point when it is used by the couple themselves. Because that would make someone always need partners," added Nugroho said as she can seduce couples who viewed him with masturbating.

There was also to leave the routine, go Nugroho, same style, same place may be able to bring you to orgasm, but will not give you the satisfaction of the peak. Therefore, do not let your passion boredom struck. By giving each other surprises, you'll see how many orgasms can you get if you try something new.

"To be intimate with a partner activity is not saturated, then it is advisable to change the style and atmosphere of a different sex. Because of this, including the variations of love that will add a romantic atmosphere on both sides," he said.

Through Great Sex Create a Healthy Body

2010-06-10T11:42:00.000-07:00

APPLYING healthier lifestyle not only improves the quality of health, both physically and mentally. More than that, always healthy living, can arouse your sexual health.

According to Dr. Nadesul Handrawan, caregivers in the health section of the media, and the author of columns and books, one of the requirements of good sex is an excellent body. That condition is called total fitness (total fitness) either the body, soul, social and spiritual.

"Health of body and mind can bring a wonderful sex life and maximum," said said when contacted okezone Nadesul via cell phone Saturday (03/15/2008).

Well, for memerolehnya, needs to implement a lifestyle that improve the quality of healthcare. One way that can be achieved is through healthy eating patterns. That means you should eat nutritious food supply in balance with protein, vitamins and minerals.

"What has been forgotten today are not eating enough nutrients and saw only its portion only. Yet in every day you need to meet as many as 45 kinds of nutritious foods. To be 45 types, need to eat as much as 45 kinds. If now many people are mono diet, so not paying attention to the needs of zinc (minerals). So that people who lack nutrition, will be less than optimal physical sexual activity, "explained the man was friendly.

Not only that, he added the title of the book's 74 authors, physical activity can help a great sex activities. Men and women who are physically active on a regular basis will lead to a sense of esteem (confidence) is greater, will possibly not even have the ability to sense a deeper sexual satisfaction.

"Physical activity would naturally encourage blood flow smoothly, including to the genitals. These activities are not limited to exercise, walk for 45 minutes on a regular basis is the kind of physical activity," said the author of Healthy Families Prospective Brides and Young, Seputar Sex and Kick's Healthy Without Fees.

Problems sleeping patterns, he added, also has an effect on sexual activity. Because the impact of sleep deprivation lowers the body's metabolism and ability are more vulnerable to hormonal disruption. Generally, patients who suffer from chronic sleep deprivation often complained of fatigue so physically unable to perform sexual activities as well as having low sexual desire. "So, make sure you get enough sleep so that sexual activity with a partner is not disturbed," he added.

Still according to Nadesul, another major requirement to be able to enjoy sex is to maintain optimal body condition. "His philosophy such as performing an action that must be balanced with recreation. For where there is action, there is recreation," explained the author of the award-winning health care newspaper obtained from the Ministry of Health of the Republic of Indonesia in 2000.

However, modern people tend to forget about your physical condition. Routine activity that is not balanced with rest. Yet, still according Nadesul, rest in the form of recreation or sightseeing that can create a new atmosphere. This is especially true in women, where they need the atmosphere to produce results memeroleh romantic atmosphere. "One way that can be achieved is a second honeymoon or just go to the beach together," he concluded. How, have you mempraktikannya?

Achieve Sexual Pleasure with Orgasm

2010-06-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

ORGASM is the sudden release of accumulated sexual tension and cause rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvic region. Usually occurs within a few seconds and produce intensely pleasurable sensations followed by high and rapid relaxation.

Orgasm also in part a psychological experience of pleasure and, when the mind is focused only on personal experience. Orgasm is sometimes called climaxing or coming.

According to Dr. Nadesul Handrawan, caregivers in the health section of the media, and the author of columns and books, anatomical differences between male and female orgasm feels different causes.

"An orgasm is different between men and women. In the men were more obvious and simple that is with the occurrence of ejaculation. While in women, orgasm is a tip from a form of sexual activity level of enjoyment. Orgasm is not just physical, but also the psychology that causes happy feelings and prosperous, "he said when contacted okezone Handrawan via cell phone, Monday (28/04/2008).

Added to him, the difference in intensity of orgasm can be caused by physical factors, such as fatigue and length of time since last orgasm, as well as psychosocial factors, including mood, relationships with spouse, activities, expectations, and feelings about the experience.

"Not every woman's orgasm in the process of forming satisfaction, because it depends on the quality of sexual activity is conducted. So do not be surprised if a woman can not have sexual relations with anyone, but must be with the man she loved. In addition, the orgasm in women must be formed with the atmosphere good, "said the author of" Healthy Families Prospective Brides and Young, Sex and the Kick-Around Healthy Without Fees "it.

Good atmosphere, he added, can be created through a good mood, too. "If it was not in the mood, the atmosphere feels a little bad, so it is difficult to make good sexual relationship. Even so, not necessarily in any sexual contact times lead to orgasm," explained award-winning newspaper writer of health care obtained from the Ministry of Health Indonesia, 2000.

The most distinctive physical traits of orgasm in men and women differently. According to him, orgasm in women clearly visible through the swelling of the vagina so it looks wide, muscles tensed, and the body when lying back looking up, tighten the waist muscles and other body parts such as breasts go tense.

Well, to produce orgasm in women may be commercialized men as much as possible. Because every woman has a different sensitivity. Although the G-spot area has the strongest sensitivity, but is best applied by building effective communication.

"A wife should tell her husband about the erotic zone (erotic zone) has. There are some women who have erotic zone on the neck, back or breast. It's just difficult in Indonesia, less open communication about sexuality. Whereas the preparation of a woman's need some minutes, "he added.

Not only the communications course, continued Nadesul, G-spot manipulation can be performed manually by using your fingers. "Once the clitoris is identical to the penis, if it's known sensitivity regions in the G-spot. And to reach a high sex techniques well done manually," he said.

Brazilian Wax, Increase Sexual Pleasure

2010-06-10T11:40:00.000-07:00

THERE ARE some men who liked the area around the "assets" partner's half-naked, completely bald or bushy. But for women, shaving the area V adds that ultimately increase the sensitivity of the pleasure of lovemaking.

For those who like activity of oral sex, couples may prefer if the area below them manicured. One way that can be achieved is by doing brazilian waxes. However, if you want to shave the hair around sensitive areas should be communicated beforehand to the couple.

"In order for the couple did not feel shock when the assets belong to you completely bare, then it should communicate first before doing the brazilian wax," added Dr. MS SpAnd Setiawan Nugroho, androlog from Dr Fatmawati, initiating a conversation when contacted okezone via cell phone Saturday (12 / 4 / 2008).

Communication is implemented, connect Nugroho, in order to avoid imposition of the will towards the couple. "Various forms of brazilian wax can be applied generally to surprise the couple. It's just that when couples do not want it, do not force the will," said the man who let his hair white.

According to him, kind of waxing is usually done in areas such hidden around the genital area, a thorough up toward your buttocks. So waxing can create a unique sensation in sensitive areas feminine person.

"Maintaining personal hygiene is to remove strands of fine hair on the pubic area (vagina) will be able to enhance the unique sensation in women who do it," beber this friendly man.

Added alma mater, State University of Solo, it is not only the sensation will be felt after doing the brazilian wax. Cleaning your sensitive areas will continue to be maintained in good condition.

Hygiene problems, continued Nugroho, closely related to the female sex organ humidity. When the thin hairs on the pubis is not removed, will create an intimate organs moist to cause various problems such as whiteness.

"Fine hairs around your pubic when viewed from the aspect of health should always be cleaned. One way is by doing the brazilian wax. However, the application can be made in accordance with the needs of each person is different," he concluded.

How, have you clean the genital area of fine hairs?

When Children Ask about Sex

2010-06-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

Most of the parents feel uncomfortable and do not understand when and how to begin an answer related to reproduction, especially in Eastern countries such as Indonesia. Still many parents assume, talk about sex, especially to children, is taboo, dirty, and do not deserve.

It is recognized one of his famous psychologist Prof. Dr. W Sarwono Sarlito Psi. According to him, there are several factors inhibiting sexual education for children, among others, sex is still taboo discussed openly, parents do not have the appropriate knowledge, feeling ashamed and embarrassed talking about sex with children. They hope the children will learn and know yourself.

Anakpun become more informed on matters relating to sexuality through television programs, video games or the Internet, even from reading such as magazines.

"While parents and schools do not teach children associated with sexual education," he said in the article Sarlito Sex Education for Children, it necessary? released Dancow Parenting Center.

In fact, sex education to children are not taught the ways to have sex, but rather the attempt to give understanding to the child, in accordance with their age. Particularly regarding sexual appliance functions and problems began to arise the natural instinct, guidance on the importance of protecting and maintaining their intimate organs, as well as provide insight into the behavior of the risks that can occur around sexual issues.

Sarlito asserted, it is fair when children ask questions about all things related to sex because sexuality is developing since infancy, children, teens, to adults. Sexual development was not only about physical development (fisikoseksual), but also psychological (psycho).

Sarlito reveal some of the questions often asked by children. For example, a three-year-old children are often asked how he was born or a boy aged three years, asked why different genitals with his sister.

Then when the child was five years old, the question will also develop ways of thinking. Some of the questions usually posed children aged 5-6 years, among others, why mommy has breasts larger than my father or my mother why her stomach can be big if there is a brother in it.

These questions should be answered according to the age of the child. Unfortunately, parents often ignore the reaction of the child questions such as pretending not to hear or change the subject. There are also some parents who make up stories for children such as child delivered a crane or a child is born from the navel. In fact, children often scolded for asking such questions.

"The reaction may cause the child's parents grew increasingly confused or curious. Could be a child looking for sources of other answers that may be misleading," asserted Sarlito.

Sexual Therapist and expert author Dr. Ruth Talks to Kids: Where You Came From, How Your Body Changes, and What Sex Is All About Dr. Ruth Wastheimer provide examples that parents can do when answering questions children about sex. "After seeing a different girl with him, Jimmy, a boy, asked her mother. After talking awkwardly for 10 minutes about the differences in boys and girls then her mother asked about the other things that we want to know Jimmy," he explained.

But Jimmy just asked about other things that are not related to sex. Indeed in this case, continued Dr. Ruth, Jimmy's mother explains more of what Jimmy wanted to know. Nonetheless, many experts did not make it because Jimmy had parents who want to discuss honestly about sex.

"This is the key to forming a healthy sesksual behavior," he asserted.

Let Women Take Charge

2010-06-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Who says only men who often dominate the "game" and be more aggressive during intercourse. Now, most women prefer to take control even when the "battle" in the chopper. Nah loh!

You do not be surprised if your partner has a great passion during intercourse. You just have to prepare strategies to cope with "game" is hot from your partner.

Here's advice from AskMen:

Let your partner arrange everything

Let your partner express his love to you with a high passion. This time you do not have to direct him, because he might be more severe than what you previously imagined.

Keep looking at both your partner's eyeball

Intimate relationship this time would seem more exciting if you still look at him and never once take his eyes off the ball of your eyes.

Provide guidance through his ring finger

Nothing wrong with giving you a little briefing on your partner so that his fingers rest a little wild and let him create his own.

Make your partner asks you to perform oral sex

This time you can satisfy your partner by giving oral sex and let him master the "game". You are guaranteed to find a great sensation during intercourse.

Sexual fantasies with ex boyfriend

2010-06-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

IS a separate mystery about her sex fantasy. Because no one ever knows what there is in women's minds when they have sex. Effect on relationship fantasies turned out to be a reasonable thing to do.

According to Dr. Anita Gunawan MS, SpAnd, androlog from Pertamina Hospital, Jakarta, including variations of sexual fantasy can improve the harmony of love. "Fantasy something reasonable for a woman, because including variations related to sex," Anita said when contacted okezone via cell phone, Sunday (02/17/2008).

Wild fantasies are something that can unwittingly helping women achieve obesesinya, with indescribable satisfaction. When and what kind of fantasy that happens is a mystery that's fun. However, what would happen when womanhood has sexual fantasies with her ex-boyfriend?

"A bit worrying when women fantasize about sex with a former girlfriend. But if that happens, the legitimate origin of the husband does not know. It would be dangerous for the continuity of the relationship to settle down, because my ex boyfriend is still to be found or contacted," explained alma mater, Airlangga University Surabaya.

Fantasy increasingly active, when a woman accidentally accumulate dissatisfaction or harbored any desire on their partner. More and more complaints are also deficiencies that can not be received, the maximum is also pleasure gained through the way of fantasy.

Still according to Anita, to avoid the possibility of a wild fantasy woman leads to negative things, should the couple began to implement an effective communications.

"If a woman is often fantasize about wild, it must be sought main cause why are not satisfied with her husband. With an open mutual intercourse, understanding and even helped his partner, not just physical satisfaction but the closer they achieved personally," he explained.

In addition, he said, so that curiosity and desire are not buried with his former girlfriend into a fantasy that is sustainable, any woman should have to control myself. "Because of his feelings that must be maintained, then it should be no restraint here," concluded the woman was friendly.

Influence Certain Ethnic Sex?

2010-06-10T11:35:00.001-07:00

MYTHS about women and sex that circulate widely in society and believed to be a correct information. It often gives a large influence. In fact, often adversely affect a woman or her partner.

According to Dr. MS SpAnd Setiawan Nugroho, androlog from Dr Fatmawati, in general, sexual myth thrives in a society with low levels of sexuality. In such a society is also very easy to influence the sex myth of sexual behavior, which is not uncommon and undesirable consequences.

Added to him, increasing the knowledge level of sexuality, society, the less the influence of myths in sexual behavior. Because, they increasingly understand that the information in the myth that sex is wrong and misleading.

"The myth that had been circulating in the community is wrong. Generally, those who believe in the myth of sex occurred because of lack of knowledge about sex," said Nugroho okezone contacted via cell phone, some time ago.

About the greatness of women from certain ethnic sexual has also been circulated widely in the community. According to this myth, women from certain ethnic groups have an advantage in her vagina so that more sexual satisfaction. This myth actually is physically unfounded because there was no difference in the vagina based on ethnicity.

According to him, if there are differences between women and certain ethnic groups, the difference is only in the eyes and sexual behavior due to differences in social and cultural values.

"The greatness of a woman's sexual from the same ethnic group wherever. Only, it could be one ethnicity is more advanced and know more about sex," explained the State University of Solo's alma mater.

More permitif Society, he continued, it will have less extensive knowledge. So that by itself will affect the way society views about sex.

"Social and cultural differences did affect views on sexuality. And this is the view of sexuality, which in turn affects a person's sexual behavior," he said.

Racial differences, size differences

2010-06-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

TAK undeniable fact penis size can affect the confidence of men. In fact man's penis size is determined by various factors.

The results of Prof. Dr. Conrad of Pensilvania Hospital Lewis performed in numerous hospitals and colleges in the United States to conclude this. Large size of the penis is relatively small and varies according to age, race, genetic factors, physical condition, and a few other things.

"Just so you know, most adult men are eager to enlarge the size of his penis. But know, the result is never maximized if the penis eventually functioned properly," said Prof. Dr. Conrad Lewis told the AP news agency.

62-year-old professor insisted, according to a study penis size Asian men, especially normal man in Indonesia about 12-16 cm, with an average of about 12 cm. Meanwhile, the American male penis size with an average of about 15 cm and a Brazilian man with an average 15.5 cm. Indeed, African men 17 cm.

What causes the difference? Conrad explains, the difference is due to geographical differences and differences in posture due to differences in food consumed.

Many Indonesian Women Experiencing Orgasm Obstacles

2010-06-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

MANY women in Indonesia apparently never reach orgasm despite having been married long. Among sexual dysfunctions that can occur in women, the most widely encountered obstacles orgasm. How come?

"Women who've been married it could have problems orgasm. The problem was caused by ineffective sexual communication between married couples," said Prof. Wimpie Pangkahila SpAnd FAACC on the sidelines of a seminar on sexuality, cilantro, Wisma BNI 46 Jakarta, Friday ( 08/08/2008).

According to Professor and Chairman of the Center for Andrology and Seksologi Studies Faculty of Medicine University of Udayana, Bali, lack of sexual knowledge causes many couples who do not understand the role and position of sexual stimulation to achieve orgasm in women. So many people who have sex with men in top positions because he considered it a normal position and can satisfy a woman. Though the man on top position does not always provide adequate sexual stimulation for women.

"The number of men who experience sexual dysfunction, particularly premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, also a strong reason why many women experience orgasm despite obstacles has long been married," explained Wimpie who also served as Chairman of the Masters Program in Reproductive Medicine at the University of Udayana, Bali.

To overcome barriers to orgasm, Wimpie recommend that each spouse to find the cause of sexual dysfunction and the cause should be addressed.

"If the cause of sexual stimulation that is not only due to a position that is not enough fun, then this is the cause that must be removed. This means the man should provide sufficient preliminary stimulation or by changing the position of an effective stimulus for the female lead. But if the cause because her partner ejaculates premature ejaculation dinilah then that must be addressed first. So if there are certain diseases, like diabetes, should be resolved first, "he explained at length.

In addition, Wimpie added, women with the help of her partner can also do sex therapy, a sexual practice. With this exercise, the women brought on a condition that can enhance the erotic factor, and reduce the factors that inhibit sexual response.

"Exercise through stimulation by the husband aims to provide an opportunity for her to concentrate their sexual feelings, find what she likes, then inform their partners.'s Husband demanded that his wife should not be directly reached orgasm. Precisely when the wife realizes that she freely express himself, it will be formed a sexual feelings that can lead to orgasm, "concluded Wimpie.

Generate stimuli Gone Through Tara fondling

2010-06-10T11:31:00.000-07:00

Been said that caress the lips can stimulate a person's sexual arousal. Many people get lost in jest that ultimately leads toward sexuality. The touch of her lips like a bridge that connects sexual desire toward intimacy. Caress the lips is a sensual thing, which can arouse. So do not be surprised if advances are often associated with sex and this is very normal.

But that does not mean sex tails sex tails fondling or caress. According to A Kasandra Putranto, Psi, from Kasandra Persona Discourse, stimulation at everyone the same.

"The bottom line must first recognize their own spouses. So do not make love activities should start from the imagination till it touches. As can be started from a joke to give good service to couples that make a drink or just eat chocolate together," said Kasandra when contacted okezone via cell phone on Friday (29/02/2008).

However, not infrequently the sensual caress makes erections men and women feel the moisture on her genitals. Quite often this happens on a new partner who is being adapted by the first touch and caress. "There are some people consider alternatives like the lips caress an intimate relationship," said Kasandra.

You can become a very loved, loved, fulfilled, and become full of sensuality when you flirt with each other at that time. This activity can be initiated by landing of your lips slowly and teasing. Kiss slowly with great imagination in the eyes, hands, ears, neck, and lips. If you already feel rangsangannya, add intensity fondling with a deeper kiss.

Not only limited to that alone, he continued, through the lips more sensual touch arousing than a touch of the hand. "Although prone parts like the neck, breasts, nipples, stomach, legs, thighs until your toes are often evoke passionate person sexuality. However, not everyone is the same. Therefore, it must recognize the re-pair each for the G-spot with someone different the other, "says this sweet black woman. How, the couple was ready to stimulate the passion?

Tired of Making Love Overcome Pain

2010-06-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

AT the time wanted to have sex, couples usually do it with enthusiasm. So often after over sex, passion was slowly receding and make couples become bored.

According to the beautiful actress Mona Ratuliu, the boredom that can arise from anywhere. Not just a matter of style variations in sex, but also about the mood of the couple who are good or bad.

"If more tired, so do not be forced.'ll End up making love the show so do not materialize," says Mona, who contacted okezone, recently.

According to Mona, to overcome boredom in sex can be done in various ways, such as creating a relaxed atmosphere, to take a bath together, or giving massages to the couple before the event intimate core begins.

"I massaged at the same Amendment Indra. It felt really relaxed, especially if my body was sore," said the wife of Indra Brasco.

Mona added, should play in the bath with romantic songs. Furthermore, each spouse can make heating or foreplay. This step can be a powerful introduction to sex.

"Start with a touching, intimate massage and continues with a kiss. A kiss makes us feel more intimate than sex itself," he said.

Many times the fun Orgasm

2010-06-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

NOT a secret anymore that orgasm multiple times rarely befall men. This means that women who more often experience the sensation of pleasure was so exciting. Why is that?

Orgasm is known as a sudden release of accumulated sexual tension and cause rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvic region. Usually occurs within a few seconds and produce a sensation of high enjoyment, and followed by rapid relaxation.

Each individual also has to experience different orgasms. It could be someone having a pop sensation, letup and wonderful, while others are more lightweight and not too strong.

Besides, not everyone can experience multiple orgasms times. But generally women can experience the sensation multiorgasme than the men.

"Multiorgasme the orgasm is felt more than once. Normally women have orgasms more often repeatedly," said Dr Handrawan Nadesul, caregiver health rubric in several media, and the author of columns and books, when contacted okezone via cell phone, Monday (28 / 04/2008).

According to him, multiorgasme can be felt when she received stimulation in sufficient capacity. "Multiorgasme not occur in any sexual relationship only. But it can occur through stimulation and caress. In fact, if done continuously will make a woman orgasm several times," says this humble man.

Added by him, which gives the sensation of orgasm for women pleasurable feeling swelling effect on the vagina, so it looks wider and the muscles tighten. Other physical changes that can be viewed during orgasm is back looking up when the body is in the supine position, waist muscles tightened, and tightening the breast involved.

Different from men, continued Handrawan, they generally do not get multiorgasme, but trying to make a prolonged orgasm (extended multiorgasme).

"Orgasm is achieved is done by men cause ejaculation little by little. At ejaculation, men enter a recovery phase called the refractory period (deflection or dissolution). However, some men can learn to hold back an orgasm without ejaculating, so they can experience multiple orgasms , "he added.

Added by award-winning newspaper writer of health care from the Ministry of Health of the Republic of Indonesia, in order to maintain multiorgasme conditions in women, a man must still proceed despite stimulation ejaculation.

"Every woman has a different sensitivity. Although the G-spot area has the strongest sensitivity, but is best applied by building effective communication. Because only couples who know the area where the point is stimulated, so men must continue to stimulation despite ejaculation had occurred, "concluded the author of" Healthy Families Prospective Brides and Young, Sex and the Kick-Around Healthy Without Fees "it.

Shared Bathroom fun

2010-06-10T11:25:00.000-07:00

Intimacy is a way of perpetuate kaharmonisan household. One way that can be done to establish intimacy with establishing togetherness. Even though made by the presenter and model Nadia Mulya. Runner-up Puteri Indonesia 2004 is trying to implement everything was done together with my beloved husband, Dastin Mudijana.

Although many ways that can be done by winning the title S2 from the University of Reading England International Management to maintain the harmony of the household. However, this Mudijana Nadine's mother would prefer to reach satisfaction with her husband in the bathroom.

"The habit we always take a bath together. Because that's when we can talk together. So where most often we do to have sex in the bathroom and bed," Nadia said when met during the launch Biotheraphie okezone, Menteng, Central Jakarta, Monday ( 03/03/2008).

Not only are often led and invites her husband into the bathroom, the woman who will launch his latest book that tries to always spend time together with my beloved husband. "We have a commitment to spend some time together, so once a week we often watch together or just eat together," said the Belgian-cross-Java-Banten.

Spending time together is one powerful way to strengthen relations between husband and wife. Therefore, the new women's boutique opened specifically for pregnant women and its equipment was not reluctant to put the baby to his parents.

"Now more and more affectionate husband and closer because of my husband getting out really consistent to help protect your child. In addition, there is always a time we were both still going out. For even now it began to grow, so easy for parents entrusted," beber women who began his career through a selection of Femina's face it.

Not just spend some time together, Nadia did not hesitate to lose weight to keep the harmony of the household. Because after the birth, surefire weight jumped dramatically and can not lose weight ideal.

"Although the husband does not complain and feel fine, just fine with my weight. Only, I just felt uncomfortable with the body over weight and I should be able to restore the original weight," he said.

One of the steps being undertaken to restore Nadia weight is by exercising diligently. "I Kan is still breastfeeding, and so can not diet and can not take medicine for slimming the body. So I lose weight naturally through exercise. In its activities, I always trained by personal trainers. But first, I also exercise myself by taking time of 10 minutes every child to sleep, "said the woman who was planning a pregnancy two.

Condition of breastfeeding mothers, he added, could also help the natural slimming process. "Since I'm still giving breast milk to children, can indirectly help you lose weight because it burns calories as many as 500 calories per day," he concluded.